How agreeable are you?
I think I’m pretty agreeable. I’m definitely open to different ideas and I make an effort to understand where other people are coming from. I do love a good debate, though. I’m also quite passionate and I’ll do my best to change people’s minds on issues that I care about, but I could generally shake hands and agree to disagree on most things, anyway.
What’s your middle name and what do you think of it?
Monica. I like it because it reminds me of my grandmother. She went by Mona, but her full name was Monica. And I’ve great memories of spending time with her as a child.
Where is your favourite place in Ireland?
The Hill of Howth. I’m fortunate that it’s 10 minutes from me. I love the views up there. It’s so close to the city. It’s so close to my house. But it feels like a whole other world. It’s a great place to escape, to get away from things, and to recharge.
Describe yourself in three words.
Optimistic. Empathetic. Determined.
When did you last get angry?
This morning, listening to heartbreaking news of further death and destruction in Gaza. I visited Gaza in 2013 with Christian Aid so I saw the impact that the Israeli blockade had on its people then, long before the current war; how dependent they were on food aid, how limited their health facilities were and how common it was for people with cancer and other life-threatening conditions to be denied permits to travel for essential medical treatment. Now, when I listen to the radio every day, I wonder how many of the people I met there are even alive. And my heart breaks thinking what those still there are living through, including people with cancer. It makes me incredibly angry that all this is happening in full view of the world, and that it seems like there’s no end in sight.
What have you lost that you would like to have back?
Two babies who died in pregnancy. I think about them all the time. And it also breaks my heart when my little girl asks me why she doesn’t have a brother or sister, like her friends or her cousins. She’s great with babies and I would have loved her to have a sibling. And I don’t know what to say to her. And now she’s four, and she keeps asking me. I’m incredibly fortunate to have the one.
We lost one baby with a fatal foetal abnormality at 17 weeks. That was really heart wrenching. Going through it, it feels like you’re on you own. I know there are so many other people going through that right now. It feels really sh*t when you’re in it, and that nobody understands.
What’s your strongest childhood memory?
Walking off the top of my bunk bed as a child, trying to walk through Bosco’s magic door. I clearly had a great imagination as a child, but sadly all it got me, in that particular adventure, was a broken arm. Needless to say, I’m reluctant to get my daughter a bunk bed.
I also got a lovely signed photo of Bosco. My parents must have written to Bosco.
Where do you come in your family’s birth order, and has this defined you?
I was adopted as a child. I have 10 siblings from three different families. I was the middle child of five growing up. I’m not sure if that has defined me, but I definitely think that being the first girl has had a big impact. I always felt, whether fair or not, that my parents were stricter on me because I was a girl. And I rebelled a lot against that – I probably still am.
What do you expect to happen when you die?
Spiritually, I’m not sure. But I hope that when the time is close, I will be surrounded by the people I love, that they’ll know I loved them deeply, that they’ll forgive me for my mistakes and that I’ll be content that I did my best and made a positive difference in the world.
When were you happiest?
When I heard my daughter’s first cry. I had a difficult pregnancy so I was relieved and incredibly happy when she made it out safely.
Which actor would play you in a biopic about your life?
Jodie Foster. She’s an amazing actress. And I think she’d be able to portray the nice bits and the tough bits. She has a lot of grit.
What’s your biggest career/personal regret?
My biggest personal regret is that I didn’t freeze my eggs when I was younger, because that might have made it possible for me to have more than one successful pregnancy.
Have you any psychological quirks?
I am petrified of heights. I’ve done my best to overcome it. I’ve tried climbing, abseiling, power sailing, you name it, because I don’t give up easily. But they’ve all ended in tears.
In conversation with Jen Hogan
