Radio Review: It was a case of be careful of what you wish for - not that I had wished for Anna Nolan in particular, but this column has on a number of occasions bemoaned the lack of imagination in RTÉ that results in the same tight, little group of radio presenters playing musical chairs with each other.
It's a key issue; the top presenters are dab hands at negotiating the sort of holidays that even teachers might consider generous, so stand-ins are a regular feature on the schedule.
So let's hear new voices, as I've said time and again. But why give someone a try out in such a high-profile slot as Marian Finucane's (RTÉ Radio 1, Monday-Friday) - as that's what Anna Nolan signed up for this week? The very thought of filling Finucane's shoes would make even the most seasoned broadcaster jittery and, no matter who the newcomer is, the odds on it working have to be stacked high. As it turned out, the Big Brother runner-up, now day-time TV presenter, didn't sound like she was enjoying it too much either. The odd thing was that the content throughout the week was, for the most part, strong - Tuesday's discussion on how and why stories make the news was fascinating, though Nolan sounded seriously out of her depth. But it's Nolan's voice, and her low-key, slightly bored-sounding style, that just isn't right for morning radio.
Anna Nolan seems to be going through the flavour-of-the-month thing that Carrie Crowley experienced some years ago. For a while you couldn't turn on the TV or the radio without having a Crowley moment and then either she got tired of it or the audience got tired of her - but she disappeared off the screens and found a niche in radio.
However, Crowley's Snapshots (RTÉ Radio 1, Sunday) regularly turns up interesting public figures who give telling insights into their private lives. Celia Larkin was this week's guest and while she wasn't, as Crowley said, "happy to talk about relationships", her former long-term partner, Bertie Ahern, was like the elephant in the room. For all those Bird watchers out there, that's not a gratuitous case of media crossing the line into someone's private life, Larkin is savvy enough to know that her beauty business was helped by her public profile. Being "a known name" does, she said, "open the door". Larkin's isn't your standard brow-plucking, face-pack joint, most of her work, she told Crowley, involves "doing image development coaching".
"We all have a personal brand," she said. "In most cases it's an accidental brand." Crowley, who was as unaware as the rest of us that we're going around with a metaphoric Nike swoosh tattooed on our forehead, pressed Larkin, unsuccessfully as it turned out, on what it all means.
"Personal branding" is down to such things, apparently, as the effect the colours you wear have on other people - as soon as she said that the elephant stirred and the image of an Taoiseach in those ill-advised yellow trousers came to mind. It wouldn't have happened in Celia's time, you couldn't help thinking, though as one of her song choices was Nights in White Satin, those famous beach photos could have been a lot worse.
And now for the other elephant on in the room or, more properly, the dinosaur. For radio listeners this week there was simply no escaping Kevin Myers, the "B" word and The Irish Times. Aside from everything, he redefined a word for a younger generation who happily think that it's a motor-related term applying only to drivers who cut daddy off in traffic or to clampers. Caller after caller to all shows wondered how out of touch and how heartless you have to be to resurrect a label whose only effect when used in its dictionary meaning is to cause hurt. "Overwhelmingly critical," said Vincent Browne of the callers to Tonight with Vincent Browne (RTÉ Radio 1, Monday-Friday)
Radio fizzed with it starting on Tuesday with callers to Anna Nolan's show and she had a good go at her brother-in-law without owning up the family connection. Programme after programme tried to get Myers on air to comment and, as he's no stranger to the airwaves, the only conclusion was that he was in his ivory tower limbering up for some serious back peddling.
Liveline (RTÉ Radio 1, Monday-Friday) had the inspired idea of getting Mary-Ellen Synon on the line - the journalist was last heard of in these parts when she created a bad smell of her own by ridiculing the participants in the Paralymics in 2000. On that occasion, Myers leapt to her defence. In return, Synon quickly climbed into the hole her pal Myers had dug for himself and with every word dug it even deeper. During one robust exchange with Joe Duffy she called him "boy". Another use of a "B" word from a different age and a woefully out-of-touch worldview.