The addict in you is going to react badly to the idea of giving up, writes Joe Armstrong
This week, we dare to believe in ourselves. Self-belief is at times an act of blind faith. If you are not yet doing your life's work, you take steps towards doing so. A change is at hand. Step out of your comfort zone.
You've a week left before you stop. Ash Wednesday is tomorrow week - February 25th. This week, expect to experience resistance. Use it. Write down why you want to continue with any addictive activity. Don't kid yourself. You get something out of it. What's the payoff?
Feel the inner fight? You want to stop (smoking, boozing, pigging out, worrying, overspending, working too hard, gambling, disavowing your God-given talents). But you want to keep at it too. Resolving your personal ambivalence is the very heart of the journey.
On one side of a page write down the pros and cons of continuing with your bad habits. On the other side, do the same for stopping. Which side has most energy? Do the same exercise for your self-belief. What would you lose if you started believing in yourself? (Don't skip this!)
Once you decide to stop, your addicted self gets mad as hell. Hence, your resistance. Might hate coughing or gambling or gravitating like an automaton to a porn site, but the alternative - believing in yourself - can be scary as Mount Doom. Sticking your neck out. Daring to be imperfect and to let it show.
If you're still reading, I guess you've resolved (at least for now.) your ambivalence in favour of moving beyond addictive thinking and behaviour - or plain old bad habits. You've crossed your first threshold in stopping. Turned a corner. Right then, if smoking's your thing, go see a doctor early this week to discuss nicotine replacement therapy (NRT) or medication. NRT can help but there are a lot of products out there and your doctor can advise which is best for you given your smoking pattern and health status.
If you've other addictions, your doctor can put you in touch with a counsellor or therapist who could help. When you're embarking on a tough mission, you need all the support you can get. Banish any moronic sense of stigma or shame in seeing someone. I'm sure as hell glad I did.
Consider stopping all mood-altering substances and processes from Ash Wednesday. Sure, you mightn't be an alcoholic but if I got a fiver for all the people who've relapsed into an addictive activity aided by the hard stuff, I'd be a rich man. No you don't have to give it up for good but cutting out or at least cutting back for a few weeks will help.
There's a comfort in fellow addicts, which is why not all of your friends or acquaintances might support your efforts. I don't know where I first heard this but it's apt: "Those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind."
This week, record all you addictive triggers. Such as where, when and with whom you smoke, overeat, or indulge in any other addictive activity. Now, plan. Use your imagination and intelligence to decide what you will do in similar situations from tomorrow week when you're no longer acting out your addictions. Oh, and treat yourself big time next weekend. Relax! Keep letting me know how you're doing.
Published by Glebe, Write Way to Stop Smoking costs €12.99. For more information, see www.writeway2stopsmoking.com