Madam, – With regard to Grainne Mason’s letter (“Adopted children seeking parents”, April 19th), I feel I must speak for those of us who are adopted who have no wish to find their birth parents. I was adopted in 1985 by a couple that I consider to be my true parents. To seek out my birth mother would for me feel like a betrayal of their love for me as my parents. Furthermore, the idea that a child or birth mother would be able to seek out their relatives without prior permission would be a gross invasion of their respective privacy, one that is granted under law.
Ms Mason, I’m sure, like many adopted children in the State, wishes to find her birth parents and I agree that the waiting time is totally unacceptable, however it’s a problem with the agency, not with the way the adoption process works. There would be no need for the law to change regarding this matter if the waiting time was reduced, as most of the information can be ascertained through the adoption agency.
I feel most of us who have no desire to search for our parents seem to be lumped in with those who do, giving the impression that all adopted children are somehow unhappy or feel as if there is something missing from their lives. This couldn’t be further from the truth. I am surely not in the minority on this issue.
Many adopted children like myself go through life without their adoption affecting them at all. This is a viewpoint that must be put forward more often, so that we can finally overcome the certain amount of stigma that comes with telling someone that you are adopted. – Yours, etc,