When parenting columnist Jen Hogan got married in the early 2000s, she took her husband’s name without giving it too much thought. Most of her friends had changed their last names after tying the knot. It wasn’t a big deal. Now, two decades on, she wishes she kept the name she was given at birth.
“25 years later, I have huge regrets about changing my name, I really wish I hadn’t, but I can’t change it back, because if I was to change it back now, it would look like I’m making a statement on my marriage,” she tells Róisín Ingle on the latest episode of The Irish Times Women’s Podcast.
“I regret it because it’s not my name, it’s my husband’s name, it’s my father-in-law’s name,” she adds.
The tradition of women taking their husband’s surname stems from an era when marriage effectively erased a woman’s legal identity. While this is no longer the case and society has moved on, the practice of women changing their name upon marriage still persists today. But why?
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In a recent feature for The Irish Times, journalist Áine Kenny posed the question: “If changing one’s name isn’t a big deal and isn’t sexist, why don’t we see more men taking their wife’s surname?” She also joins Ingle on the podcast to unpack the reasons why this tradition has lasted.
“The question has to be asked: why aren’t men changing their names? I think it’s rare that you’d come across a man who would change his surname to his wife’s name,” Kenny says.
“Your name is your name, it’s your identity. We shouldn’t give that up so easily”.
You can listen back to this conversation in the player above or wherever you get your podcasts.
