So, a quiet week then? No historic achievements to salute or frenzied to-dos in the aftermath to wear us out? It’s just as well, really, because we needed all our strength for the weekend that was in it, wall-to-wall big sporting tussles jamming our telly schedule.
Possibly the happiest face on our screens through it all was that of Damien Duff after his Shelbourne team beat Waterford in the FAI Cup semi-finals.
“The guys are in there playing songs,” he told Tony O’Donoghue post-match, “you want to be careful what you play.”
No clue what he was talking about.
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But Duffer was beaming. “A dream come true, it blows away anything I’ve ever done in my career… we shouldn’t be here, little old Shels, as people call us, everyone hates us, I think.”
He’s box-office, that lad.
Those who chose to remain by their fireplaces to watch this and the rest of the weekend’s menu would have felt vindicated upon seeing RTÉ’s umbrella-wielding panel of Peter Collins, Alan Cawley, Stuart Byrne and Richie Sadlier close to being Mary Poppins-ised in the squall that hit them at half-time in Waterford. A bit like his umbrella, Richie was nigh on blown inside out, his notes ending up in Oslo.
Hardy folk, none hardier than Shane Walsh whose August transfer from Kilkerrin-Clonberne to Kilmacud Crokes has, not unreasonably, been likened to Erling Haaland’s move from Borussia Dortmund to Manchester City. Crokes’ detractors scurrilously allege that Walsh is probably on bigger wages, but after his performance against Na Fianna in the Dublin county final on Sunday, €500,000 a week isn’t enough.
It wasn’t just that he scored four of Crokes’ 11 points in their one-point win, nor that he was man of the match; it was the fact that he reappeared after 10 minutes in the back of an ambulance having his ear stitched back on to his head.
“How do you feel?” TG4 asked him at full-time. “Battered,” he replied, a large bandage holding his ear in place. “But that’s what football is, both teams going hard at it.”
Only Mark Chapman suffered more pain all weekend, after the public address system failed at St James’ Park during the opening ceremony for the Rugby League World Cup, delaying game one between England and Samoa.
Mark: “Samoa have got the big home dressing room, England are in the away team dressing room that’s a bit smaller, so they’re a bit more cramped.”
James Graham: “That’s a red herring, that.”
Mark: “I know, but I’ve got time to fill.”
A malfunction that caused Mark no little stress, then, although his BBC colleague Dave Woods had a tough time of it too because he was commentating on the malfunctioning opening ceremony, him getting very excited when the The Kaiser Chiefs were about to break into their second tune.
“In a moment, Ruby, one of their anthemic songs, will be ringing around St James’ Park,” he said. Silence. “Very shortly, we hope.” Silence. “Because we want to see a game of Rugby League at some point today.”
We never got to hear Ruby, the band’s lead singer Ricky Wilson instead having to entertain the crowd by, well, running up and down the touchline. At least it gave Dave time to tell us the greatest factoid ever: Ricky is the godson of the late, great BBC Rugby League commentator Eddie Waring. Who knew?
Come Sunday, it was time for Ireland’s first game in the tournament, World Cup debutantes Jamaica their opponents in Leeds. BBC pundit Jamie Jones-Buchanan kind of saw it as a battle between rum and whiskey, rum being pulverised 48-2 in the end.
Over at Anfield, meanwhile, Gary Neville was swooning at the contest he was witnessing “It’s an absolute throwback,” he said of the meeting of Liverpool and Manchester City.
It was too, and, to cap it all, there were a few shemozzles thrown in too — and nothing, as we know, absolutely nothing, beats a shemozzle.
Mo Salah’s goal? Stop the lights.
“It’s not the end of Liverpool after all,” Sky’s David Jones concluded after their 1-0 win.
A perfect week banjaxed.
