Many adults will recall awkward conversations staged by parents during their formative years. The “Birds and the Bees” – cringe. “Stranger Danger” – terrifying. “Peer Pressure” – so out of touch!
Of course, upon mature recollection, we know they were just helping their offspring navigate a big bad world by being informed. But at some point, those tables must turn, when it comes to another awkward conversation – about the F-word.
Because understanding ageing parents’ financial status and plans now can eliminate future headaches and even sibling rivalry when it comes to their wishes and legacy intentions.
Nobody is saying this is easy. Generational differences often revolve around distinct approaches to financial habits and ways of perceiving savings and nest eggs. Money can be a dirty word, veiled in secrecy and silence until it’s all too late.
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On a pragmatic level, however, what can be construed as a cold, hard conversation around cash can actually prove a life saver if an unexpected illness or care requirement demands crucial interventions.
If an elderly parent can truly no longer think for themselves or navigate their home safely, or if they are vulnerable to external financial pressures, then second-guessing their wishes or sourcing essential paperwork or points of contact to determine their fiscal health can often delay essential care or living modifications.
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Why is it necessary to plan ahead?
We are living longer and are, for the most part, in better health.
The Department of Health’s Health in Ireland: Key Trends in 2024, published in February, states that life expectancy in Ireland is the fifth highest in the EU, at 82.6 years. The population has grown by 14.8 per cent since 2015, with the over 65s group increasing by 36.5 per cent.
But a reduction in mortality in older age groups also means a growing cohort of elderly people already, or soon will, require home support or long-term residential care.
Indeed, research by the Economic and Social Research Institute (ESRI), which was conducted in June, indicates that the number of people aged 85 and over, who use such supports, is projected to more than double in the coming years. It warns that the number of long-term residential care beds and home support for older people will need to increase by at least 60 per cent by 2040.
So, helping an ageing parent get their affairs in order sooner rather than later is essential in ensuring a safe and comfortable life when they can no longer manage for themselves.
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How to ask the difficult questions
Firstly, this is not about an inheritance or divvying up who gets what when a parent passes. Frame the conversation as ensuring their future wellbeing, with regards to affordability of care, residential home costs or medical needs.
Draw up a list together, including the name of their solicitor, details of any financial advisers and a shared understanding of savings or rainy day funds that can be used for their future care.
Is the family home mortgage-free? If not, what loans or outgoing repayments are required? Is there a list of assets? Is there a will to protect these assets? Is there a power of attorney in place should a parent lose the mental capacity to manage their own affairs? Is there a pension and how is it being managed? What outgoing expenses do they have? Are these manageable or is a stricter budget needed to help stockpile savings?
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The ‘what if’ scenario
Respecting the wishes of ageing parents who have taken the time to discuss finances and optional routes to take in their twilight years is paramount in planning for a safe and comfortable living situation in their older years.
Questions must be posed around living preferences. A parent might be adamant that a nursing home should never be on the cards. But what happens if that parent, then at a very elderly age, is afflicted to the point where staying at home is neither safe nor suitable? Is a live-in carer an option? And what would this cost?
The carer’s allowance, which is paid weekly from the Department of Social Protection, is means-tested, so a person’s income and assets are taken into account to determine if they can qualify.
You can claim a dependent relative tax credit of €305 as of the start of this year, up from €245. But you will not receive it if your dependent relative’s income exceeded €18,028 in 2025, or €17,404 for 2024.
Home care tax relief when employing a carer is given at your highest tax rate, meaning if it costs €10,000 for a carer to look after a parent and you pay tax at 40 per cent, tax relief of up to €4,000 can be claimed. However, the carer must be hired from an agency or commercial organisation for this credit, which has a maximum tax relief per year for, whichever is the lower, the actual cost of hiring a carer or €75,000 per each incapacitated person.
Is there money to cover nursing home care if needed?
Private long-term nursing home care is another expensive support to factor in. Under the government’s Fair Deal programme, people pay a certain amount towards a nursing home and the HSE pays the balance. When you submit the application form, you are applying for a care needs assessment and financial support.
The financial assessment looks at all of the person’s income and assets, to work out how much you pay towards your care, but it also means that if an ageing person can manage with daily tasks such as washing, dressing and shopping, and is cognitively functioning, there is a level of independence the assessment will probably deem unsuitable for nursing home supports.
A financial assessment will look at income as well as any assets a parent owns. The contribution is equal to 80 per cent of the assessable income and 7.5 per cent of the value of any assets owned per annum. For couples, the assessment will be based on half of the couple’s combined income.
Are there grants to help adapt a home?
And this is where knowing the financial status of an ageing loved one is key, because if their household has an annual income of less than €37,500, the Mobility Aids Grant Scheme can help towards necessary home modifications such as grab rails, ramps, accessible shower and a stair lift.
Since December 1st, 2024, the rules have also changed, bringing the maximum grant, applied for through a local authority, from €6,000 to €8,000.
Is wealth transfer a good idea?
This should definitely be part of the financial conversation because there are tax exemptions that allow parents to transfer wealth while alive, and avoid leaving children or relatives with tax bills. The main taxes that can arise are capital acquisitions tax (CAT) and capital gains tax (CGT)
The easiest way to transfer wealth is by availing of the small gift tax exemption. This allows an individual to gift €3,000 per annum to another individual tax free in any given year.
