YESTERDAY'S launch of the Telecom alliance was surrounded by the usual razzmatazz balloons, bands and personalities. Chelsea club and Dutch soccer star Ruud Gullit, Ulrika Johnsson, from Gladiators and Irish actor Colm Meaney of Star Trek fame were on hand to provide the "star" quality.

Telecom staff duly introduced the media to. the stars, several of whom were most anxious to meet Gullit and shake his hand. The attention almost proved too much for Ulrika who said she had been greeted by a "melange of hands".

Now I know why the queen wears gloves, she said, in her best upper-class English accent. "I shouldn't be expected to put up with germs from the common people."