A protection order has been issued against a son who allegedly subjected his father to a four-hour beating on Christmas Eve.
“We are really in fear of him, he beat me over four hours,” the father, accompanied by his wife, told Judge Stephanie Coggans at Dublin District family court on Wednesday. The father received hospital treatment after the alleged assault.
“I’m very scared, we live in fear in our own house,” the mother told the judge. Their son, now aged in his 30s, has lived with them all his life and they got protection orders against him previously, the father said.
The judge was satisfied the evidence met the threshold for a protection order. “I’m sorry you have to go through this,” she told the couple. She dealt with several separate ex parte applications (with one side only represented) by parents for protection, safety or interim barring orders against their adult sons. She urged the applicants to turn up in court on the return dates fixed, noting that many do not do so, which means many orders lapse.
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In one application, a mother said she has no contact with her son, aged in his 30s, due to his “bullying and remarks” over the years. “He can kill me with words.”
She secured a protection order after saying her son arrived at her home, screaming and shouting and kicking the door when she returned there after a holiday with her young grandchild.
“I froze, he is 6ft 4in and I don’t know what he will do if he gets his hands on me,” the woman, clearly distressed, told the judge. She had permission from her grandchild’s mother to bring him on holiday, she added. “I don’t want trouble, I just want contact with my grandson.”
Protection orders were separately granted to another woman who described the two adult sons she lives with as “like Rottweilers. If I had two dogs like that, I’d put them down,” she said.
Her sons have not physically attacked her and she is not afraid of them but they are verbally abusive, she is “sick of them wrecking the house” and is concerned her neighbours would report her to the council due to noise and incidents, she said. She was afraid to go downstairs on Christmas night to confront her older son after hearing noise and glass shattering, she said, and gardaí had been called.
“I’m too old for this, I don’t get a bit of peace,” she said.
Gardaí had pleaded with her to get protection orders, she said. She would have sought interim barring orders except she did not want her sons “to end up on the street”.
Another mother secured an interim barring order against her adult son after telling the judge she can no longer live with him because he is too aggressive and had begun saying he hates his two young children.
Her son, aged in his 30s, became very aggressive on Christmas Eve, attacked her partner, banged walls and told her she would not get to see the grandchildren although she had arrangements with their mother to have them for a few days, she said.
On St Stephen’s Day, her son tried to take the children out but she would not let him because she did not know where he would take them or what he might do with them, she said.
She believed his behaviour arose from the effects of his being badly attacked some years back but he refuses to seek help, she said.
It was “horrific” to have to bring this application, she said but she could not have her grandchildren witnessing violence. “I had enough of that growing up. It is terrible. I have to protect them from their own father. They are afraid of him.”
Thanking the judge, the woman said: “The atmosphere in this building is very friendly, it’s a service because it’s a very hard thing to do to look for a barring order.”
In a separate application, a father secured a protection order after saying his son’s behaviour has become so threatening the parents “can’t take any more” and are moving out of Dublin.
His son, aged in his early 20s, had damaged their home, threatened him, taken his car and arranged to have a masked man call to their door at night demanding money, he said. He and his wife have paid some €3,000 to various persons arising from his son’s activities, he added.
A woman secured an interim barring order against her husband whom she alleged put herself and their two young children in fear over Christmas.
After church on Christmas Eve, she said he started to act very violently and aggressively in front of their children and her four-year-old son was crying: “Don’t hit my Mum!”
The violent behaviour continued from about 10.30pm on Christmas Eve until about 3am on Christmas Day, she said. Her husband would not let the children sleep until after 3am when he told them to “forget everything, we will enjoy Christmas now”.
“Every minute, he just changes,” she said. “I was stressed, crying, I have faced this many times.”
After her husband heard her call gardaí on Christmas Day, he told her it would only take 10 minutes to kill her and the children, she said. He prevented her going to bed, saying if she did so, he would take his own life, she said.
Her husband has “a good side” and she wondered if treatment might help him, she said.
The judge said she could not direct the man to access help or treatment but would grant an interim barring order for his removal from the home due to his violent behaviour.
Another woman secured a protection order after saying she was afraid of a man with whom she had been in an off-on relationship. She said she agreed to get engaged to him because she was scared of him and thought that might change his behaviour but he continued to do drink and drugs and behave aggressively and violently, she said.
When the judge urged her not to go back to the man, the woman said she would not. “I should have come here before,” she said.
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