Recently I read about a young woman who fell in love with a man because of his good grammar. She had been browsing a dating website when his profile caught her eye due to his accurate use of commas and full stops. He wrote the word “you” in full and didn’t use more than one exclamation mark at a time ...(!!!!)
He “showed off his lean prose, cut paragraphs and included a photograph of himself using the word ‘verisimilitude’ without it seeming forced,” she said. There he was, “capital letters, punctuation, even a subclause. He included a line about how he’s a bit possessive – like the apostrophe.”
She was overcome. “God help me, I had to excuse myself to the bathroom for a quick five minutes, right there and then,” she said. Wouldn’t have happened in my time, when women ignored nerds and never made passes at guys who drank glasses.
Some instinct (Roscommon sense!) told me this could not be true. On further investigation, so it turned out. The story had been published by the UK News Thump satirical website. Yon guy with the red face in thon mirror? C’est moi!
Yet good grammar can be seductive, while its opposite can cause deep irritation.
I’d like to think I would prefer the (actor) Judi Dench school of thought in such matters, but I’m too superficial. “Don’t prioritise your looks my friend, as they won’t last the journey,” she said. “Your sense of humour though, will only get better with age. Your intuition will grow and expand like a majestic cloak of wisdom.”
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“Your ability to choose your battles, will be fine-tuned to perfection. Your capacity for stillness, for living in the moment, will blossom. Your desire to live each and every moment will transcend all other wants. Your instinct for knowing what (and who) is worth your time, will grow and flourish like ivy on a castle wall.”
[ In a Word...HumanitiesOpens in new window ]
Ah yes, if only. She continued: “Prioritise the uniqueness that make you, you, and the invisible magnet that draws in other like-minded souls to dance in your orbit. These are the things which will only get better.”
But who could resist “lean prose, cut paragraphs”, and use of “the word ‘verisimilitude’ without it seeming forced”?
Verisimilitude, from Latin verisimilitude, for resembling.
