After 12 years, many rejections, close calls, writer’s notebooks, three trips to Cornwall, countless RAF airbases, museums, drafts, rewrites, edits, fighter pilot and bomber boy memoirs, I’m finally self-publishing my second World War historical fiction ebook, Love Will Have its Way. There were many times I wanted to give up, and did for a while, focusing on other writing.
Am I a different writer to the one I was all those years ago? Yes. I’ve taken ownership of my words and no longer shy away from calling myself a writer. With each small publication win amid the never-ending flurry of rejections, I’ve learned to be proud of my work.
My novel started in the most unlikely way. I was compelled to write it because of a remarkable person and a very human story.
In the summer of 2010, I was on maternity leave, having given birth the previous March to a beautiful baby girl. I gave her all the love I had, but somehow in that melee of motherhood a docudrama on BBC One called First Light, about Geoff Wellum, the youngest fighter pilot in the Battle of Britain, captivated me. I didn’t realise it would change my life and, despite the demands of new motherhood, reconnect me with something I had largely forgotten about since secondary school: my writing.
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The first thing that struck me about First Light was Geoff’s honesty as he spoke about the camaraderie of 92 Squadron that he became so much a part of as a Spitfire pilot in the Battle of Britain. It’s a story of bravery against the odds, an acceptance of death, and the tragic loss of friends, many of whom had not yet turned 21 when they were killed. On my first meeting with Geoff near his home in Cornwall in 2014, he told me that most fighter pilots lasted only about three weeks before being killed. I was completely inspired by his story, and suddenly had the urge to write something about it. I just wasn’t exactly sure what.
Why did I connect so much with Geoff’s story? I think more than anything it was his honesty and humility. He never cared about the glory. He just wanted himself and the young men who fought with him to be remembered, because he said, that ‘Being remembered, included everyone’.
I eventually found the courage to write to Geoff, asking him if he thought a 35-year-old new mother from Ireland was mad to want to write a story about a Battle of Britain fighter pilot. He kindly responded that no, he didn’t think I was mad, rather I would have to see it through and write whatever I felt compelled to write. This really surprised me. He was the first person to believe in my writing, before I’d even written a word of the book.
Two of the main male characters are an Irish fighter pilot, Paddy, and a bomber boy, Richard, both of whom have some of Geoff in them. Paddy’s character was also inspired by Brendan ‘Paddy’ Finucane, one of eight Irish fighter pilots in the Battle of Britain, who was officially disowned by Eamon de Valera’s wartime government. Even though some of the book is set in Hornchurch, Kent, and Cornwall, it was very important for me to feel connected to my hometown of Waterford and Ireland during the writing of it. My thoughts on home were also the main character Violet’s:
‘As the mail boat entered the Suir Estuary in Waterford, Violet sat back and studied the Irish countryside. There was a feeling of peace here she hadn’t felt in England for a long time. And a rough wildness to the nature of the place that pulled at her heart. She breathed in the scenery, remembering her visits as a child and the relaxed, easy-going nature of the Irish people.’
In the book, both Violet and Paddy are half Irish and from staunchly Catholic backgrounds. When Violet becomes pregnant with his child shortly before he goes missing in action, her mother sends her to a mother and baby home in Ireland. I put a lot of my own feelings as a new mother into Violet’s labour scenes and those first precious days of bonding with her child.
Because this was my first book, I wrote a lot from instinct. I also took on board every single thing other writers, novelists and editors had to say, making every change they suggested. I think now that I’ve grown in confidence with my writing, I’d be more inclined to listen to my gut and trust my inner voice more on my second novel.
My inspiration for the cover came in 2012 while doing an Open University course in creative writing. All through that year, an image of a young woman, standing at sunrise near a large cottage by the sea in Cornwall niggled at me. The glow of the sun covered everything with its hope, including a thundering Spitfire overhead. This image was the impetus for my story, and I knew it had to be the cover.
Last year, I came very close to being published with digital publisher Storm Publishing and worked with one of their editors, Kathryn Taussig. Kathryn understood my vision better than anyone. Although my novel didn’t make the final cut, her reassurance that it was ready for publication was the extra push I needed to take the plunge and finally go it alone. One thing I did learn is just because your novel is being rejected, doesn’t mean you shouldn’t self-publish. Although it does initially seem scary, in hindsight, I think I should have self-published several years ago, rather than holding out for validation from a publisher for 12 years. The reality is, a lot of debut novelists will never get it.
