This play was written by young writers who attend St Michael’s House in Rathmines on February 5th and 12th, 2025
Characters
Dermot is from Ireland.
Amanda is from Japan.
A Leprechaun.
Mayhem the Leprechaun.
Policeman.
Scene one
Two friends are going to the St Patrick’s Day parade in Dublin city on March 17th. There are lots of people around, they are moving everywhere. It’s fun, a bit chilly, but a bit scary. Amanda and Dermot are on the bus and there is a Leprechaun on the bus.
A Leprechaun: Grrrr! Hello, Grrr!
Amanda: Please go away!
Dermot (he gives the thumbs up sign): It’s okay!
A Leprechaun: Grrr! Shut up!
Dermot: The parade is good. It is full of green and yellow colours. There is going to be marching and face-painting.
Amanda: I’m excited!
Amanda starts a dance and starts banging her feet. Everyone on the bus starts banging their feet too.
A Leprechaun: Die! Die! Die people! Hey you, go away! You get away Dermot for five years and 15 months.
He jumps down on to his knees.
Dermot: You behave yourself baby or we will call the police!
Scene two
On the train.
News Announcer: Everybody be careful. There is a Leprechaun on the loose. Close the doors and windows. He has a loud voice and he is very angry. People, please don’t go outside. It’s very dangerous and don’t go into town. It’s closed. The parade is cancelled.
Lotus Cup, who is a superhero, can move like a frog. She bounces into the bus and talks to the Leprechaun.
Lotus Cup: Here, would you like some Leprechaun treats?
A Leprechaun: Oh, yes, give me those Leprechaun treats.
Lotus Cup: Calm down and I will give you the treats.
The Leprechaun gets very excited. The police arrive.
Policeman: Hey you, Leprechaun. Calm down and get in the car.
The Leprechaun resists and the policeman puts him in handcuffs. Now the parade can start again.
Scene three
Dermot and Amanda are having fun at the parade. Everybody is dancing too to the sound of Riverdance – they all say yup! On the way home, they have a pint of Guinness in a pub and get drunk – a bit tipsy.
They eat potatoes and Irish stew. They go to a dance. We hear a tin whistle and bodhrán playing. The leprechaun comes back but the policeman has some handcuffs. Ringo turns up too. Mayhem the Leprechaun turns up at the parade. He yawns as he is very tired.
Mayhem the Leprechaun: Welcome to the black parade, foolish mortals. I bring destruction and darkness and shadows.
Policeman: Hold it right there! You are going to go to prison for seven years, 11 months and 15 days.
Lotus Cup: Everybody needs to do some yoga and calm down. Namaste!
Mayhem the Leprechaun: This party never stops and time is dead and life has no meaning. Existence is upside down.
Lotus Cup: Calm down. Namaste! Have a pint of Carlsberg beer!
Policeman (scratching his head and claps his hands): Do you think this is funny?
Mayhem the Leprechaun: Oh my eye. Mayhem was never my name. I am Bill Cipher, Space Demon. I am trapped in the nightmare realm for years. I am trillions of years old.
Lotus Cup: Namaste! Oh no! I think you were sleepwalking. I can help you.
Mayhem the Leprechaun: I control time, space, matter. Flat world with flat dreams, I destroy my world.
Policeman: Enough! Enough! Stop it right now! You will go to prison for 20 months.
Mayhem the Leprechaun: I am King from the Second Dimension, Euclydia.
Policeman: Oh my, my, my, my ... It’s straight to the station for you Mayhem!
Lotus Cup: And goodbye!
Scene four
Dermot smiles at Amanda.
Dermot: It’s going to be okay.
Amanda: Arigato!
Dermot gets a bit shy.
Dermot: Thank you!
Lotus Cup: Namaste!
Epilogue
Mayhem the Leprechaun is in the police van and we hear him say:
Mayhem the Leprechaun: The end of days will come. I am going to destroy your world. I will be watching you!
Watch out, Bill Cipher will return...
