The Royal Variety Performance 2023
Sunday, UTV, 8pm
It’s Christmas, and time for another Royal Variety Performance featuring a host of stars offering entertainment delights for Britain’s royal family – and for viewers at home. Alas, the king and queen won’t be at the Royal Albert Hall for the annual extravaganza, but the prince and princess of Wales, Wills and Kate, won’t want to miss such acts as power-poppers McFly, celebrating 20 years of eternal youth, and 1980s pop sensation Rick Astley, fresh from blowing Glastonbury away with renditions of AC/DC and The Smiths. But the icing on this year’s cake comes in the form of headliner Cher, who will perform a tune from her new Christmas album. Believe.
Where Is Baby Gabriel?
Sunday, Channel 4, 10.30pm
In 2009, Elizabeth Johnson travelled from Phoenix, Arizona, to San Antonio, Texas with her seven-month-old child, Gabriel. When the child went missing, Johnson made a shocking confession, claiming she had killed her baby. But soon after she retracted her confession, and claimed instead that she had gone to San Antonio to put Gabriel up for adoption in a city known as the US capital of black-market adoptions. She told police she had spun the murder story to get back at Gabriel’s father, Logan. But what really happened? This three-part docuseries has plenty of twists and turns, secrets and lies.
Richard Osman’s Festive House of Games
Monday, BBC2, 7pm
When he’s not keeping readers up late with his page-turning murder mysteries set in a residential community for the elderly, Richard Osman is keeping his celebrity contestants on their toes with this fiendishly fun take on the traditional general knowledge quizshow. This week it’s the countdown to Christmas, and the famous guessing guests are Richie Anderson, Simon Gregson, Jessica Knappett and Debbie McGee, who will be pitting their wits against each other to become the overall champion on Friday and be in line for the ultimate prize: a House of Games festive fondue set.
Vanishing Act
Monday, Tuesday & Wednesday, UTV, 9pm
This three-part drama tells the story of Australian financial consultant Melissa Caddick, who had it all: money, cars, property and a loyal clientele who trusted her with their money. But Caddick was actually running a giant Ponzi scheme, and ripping off clients, friends and family. When the authorities closed in on her, Caddick disappeared, and Australia was gripped by fevered speculation about whether she was in hiding or whether she was dead. When a trainer containing a decomposed foot was found washed up on a beach, it only added to the mystery.
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We had sex maybe once a month. The constant rejection was soul-crushing, it felt like my ex didn’t even like me
How to Cook Well at Christmas with Rory O’Connell
Tuesday, RTÉ1, 8.30pm
Christmas is a time for family, friends ... and stress, as you’ve got 20 hungry guests coming for Christmas dinner and you’re barely able to knock up a Pot Noodle. Relax – Rory O’Connell is here to save the day that’s in it with two seasonal specials (part two on Wednesday at 6.30pm), in which he shares his vast experience of magicking up festive feasts. He’ll have you creating such delicious dinner delights as beef consommé with brunoise of veg, grilled leeks with nduja, tomatoes and rosemary, roast haunch of venison, and a dish called carta di musica with good things.
Fairytale of New York: The Story of a Christmas Classic
Tuesday, RTÉ1, 10.15pm
At this time of the year, the Pogues’ classic Christmas hit gets played in shops and restaurants and on radio, but this year it attains extra resonance following the recent death of Shane MacGowan, and bookies are betting on it finally making the Christmas No 1 slot 36 years after its release. This programme delves in to the making of the song, which took MacGowan and his Pogues bandmate Jem Finer two years to finish. The programme features interviews with Christy Moore, Imelda May, Bob Geldof and Paul Simon, producer Steve Lillywhite, who suggested getting his wife, Kirsty MacColl, to sing on the song, and former bandmate Cait O’Riordan, who sang on an early version of the song.
Rún na Bóinne
Wednesday, TG4, 9.30pm
It’s been rumoured for so long it’s reached semi-mythical status, and this special programme sets out to learn the answer for once and for all: is there a secret second chamber at Newgrange, and if so, where is its exact location? Seán Mac an tSíthigh takes it upon himself to play druid detective, as he traverses the land and scours the Boyne valley in search of clues as to the whereabouts of this legendary chamber number two. His search will also take him on a journey through the mists of time as he revisits past discoveries of neolithic monuments, and to the edge of the future as he utilised cutting-edge technology in his quest.
Face Down: The Disappearance of Thomas Niedermayer
Wednesday, RTÉ1, 9.35pm
In December 1973 the IRA abducted German businessman Thomas Niedermayer from his home in west Belfast, thus beginning years of anguish for his family, which still resonates 50 years later. For the next seven years, his wife, Ingeborg, and his daughters, Renate and Gabriele, had no idea if Thomas was alive or dead, and their agonising wait ended in 1980 when his body was recovered and it was confirmed that the IRA had killed him within days of kidnapping him. But the repercussions carried on to the next generation of the Niedermayer family, and in this documentary, Thomas’s granddaughters, Tanya and Rachel, set out to put some family ghosts to rest.
Mark Moriarty: Off Duty Christmas
Thursday, RTÉ1, 6.30pm
You might be able to create a delicious Christmas dinner for the family, but it could all fall apart if you don’t get the gravy right. Mark Moriarty is here to help us with some of the festive basics, including how to make a rich and delicious gravy that will have the family scrambling to pour all over their turkey and ham. He’s also got some valuable tips for doing a twist on the traditional Christmas breakfast, with a full Irish completely done in just one pan, and topped with a succulent home-made brown sauce. He also shares a family secret: his mum’s raspberry roulade.
Made Up in Belfast Christmas Special
Thursday, BBC1, 10.40pm
What are the beautiful people planning to do this Christmas? In this festive special, we revisit the glamtastic crew from the fast-growing Belfast cosmetics brand, and needless to say they have a glitzy Christmas planned that will make Santa and his elves look positively dowdy. Emma is off to Australia for the Christmas holidays, but is worried about missing the traditional turkey and Brussels sprouts, while owner Brendan is planning a surprise party for his staff, but can he keep them from twigging his plans? He’s also thinking ahead to 2024, as he and his partner, Tony, are hoping to become parents.
Donal Skehan: Home Cook Christmas
Friday, RTÉ1, 6.30pm
There’s no excuse for not getting it together in the kitchen this Christmas. The telly schedules are stuffed with festive cookery shows, and the celeb chefs are lining up to show you how to create fabulous festive meals and amaze your friends and family. In this seasonal edition of Home Cook, Skehan heads out of the home and brings the family over to spend Christmas with close friends – and cooking up some delicious Yuletide recipes to ensure he’s always welcome, including sweet spiced loaves, mulled apple juice, whiskey and plum glazed ham with prosciutto-wrapped parsnips, and a spiced pear sticky toffee cake. Stay as long as you like, Donal, there’s the apron.
Here We Go: Mum’s Classic Family Christmas
Friday, BBC1, 9pm
It’s Christmas at the Jessop family’s house, and you know what that means: total chaos and much mayhem – and lots of laughs. Amy is coming home for Christmas, and Rachel wants to be sure she’ll get the best old-fashioned Christmas ever, filled with stockings, presents, turkey and all the other stuff you hear about in the festive songs. The plan is to have a traditional Christmas dinner, catch the king’s speech, sing Showaddywaddy’s festive hit Hey Mr Christmas, and then flop down and watch Shrek. Will it all go according to plan? Will it heck.
