St Patrick’s Festival Parade
Sunday, RTÉ1, 12.15pm
So, it’s Paddy’s Day, and you’re not sure what to do with yourself. Fear not: Sarah McInerney, Dáithí Ó Sé, Emer O’Neill and Thomas Crosse are here to guide you through the day’s festivities, with live coverage of the celebrations in the capital, from the parade itself, which will wind through the streets of Dublin, to the fun and festivities in the St Patrick’s Festival Quarter at the National Museum in Collins Barracks. This year’s pageant is a celebration of Dublin’s inner city, and promises to be the nation’s largest-ever Paddy’s Day parade.
Dancing with the Stars
Sunday, RTÉ1, 7pm
We’ve watched in shock and awe as this year’s Dancing with the Stars celebrity dancers and their professional partners bent over backwards to impress the judges with their paso dobles, twists and tangos. Last week’s semi-final saw five celebs – Blu Hydrangea, David Whelan, Jason Smyth, Davy Russell and Laura Fox – battle it out in a fright-night special, with dance routines driven by fear of putting a foot wrong and terror of being turfed off the dance floor. Now comes the grand finale, with just four couples going toe to toe and giving it one final whirl in the hope of winning that glitterball trophy. Jennifer Zamparelli and Doireann Garrihy present this final showdown in front of the judging panel of Brian Redmond, Lorraine Barry and Arthur Gourounlian.
Hothouse Flowers: Stick Around and Laugh a While
Monday, RTÉ1, 6.30pm
On September 3rd, 1988, 40,000 young music fans flocked to the RDS Showgrounds for a huge end-of-summer concert. The headliners? Local heroes Hothouse Flowers, whose hit single Don’t Go had soundtracked an amazing year for the Dublin band. This warmhearted documentary looks back on that pivotal year, when the band performed Don’t Go at the Eurovision Song Contest, and released their debut album, People. The programme also catches up with the band 35 years later as they embark on a UK tour in 2023 – still bringing good vibes to the people.
Whites Only: Ade’s Extremist Adventure
Monday, Channel 4.10pm
You might think apartheid is a thing of the past in South Africa, but you are about to be proven wrong. Welcome to the town of Orania – but only if you are a white Afrikaner. Orania was created in the 1990s as a last bastion of apartheid, where only whites are allowed to live and work, and where monuments to the architects of apartheid abound. Nigerian-born presenter Ade Adepitan visits Orania at the invitation of the townspeople, and learns that the locals firmly believe they are not racist, but simply taking part in a project to preserve Afrikaner culture.
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We had sex maybe once a month. The constant rejection was soul-crushing, it felt like my ex didn’t even like me
Ricky, Sue and a Trip or Two
Tuesday, More4, 9pm
Ricky Tomlinson and Sue Johnston are probably telly’s best-known and best-loved fictional married couple, having played husband and wife in Brookside and later in The Royle Family. This new series sees the two friends reunite as travel companions, visiting places in the UK that hold special significance in their lives, and destinations they’ve always wanted to reach. No surprise that their first stop is Liverpool, where they began their long telly partnership 40 years ago as Bobby and Sheila in Brookie.
The Dropout
Tuesday, BBC1, 11.40pm
In 2019 the medical world was under the spell of brilliant young entrepreneur Elizabeth Holmes, whose biotech company Theranos claimed to have developed a revolutionary new blood-testing kit that only required a pin prick of blood. Soon Holmes’s company was valued at more than $9 billion, and she was feted by Forbes as one of the youngest women to reach billionaire status. But questions were soon asked about Holmes’s grandiose claims, and soon her elaborate deception unravelled, and she was convicted of fraud in 2022 and sentenced to 11½ years in prison. Amanda Seyfried stars as Holmes in this eight-part true crime series that was first aired on Disney+.
Palm Royale
From Wednesday, Apple TV+
Kristen Wiig stars as wannabe socialite Maxine Simmons in this drama series set in the rich playground of Palm Beach in the 1960s. Simmons is determined to gain entry to the exclusive Palm Royale club, but to do that she’s going to have to reinvent herself – and gain the trust of the wealthy women who rule Palm Beach high society. The series also stars Laura Dern, Allison Janney and Ricky Martin, with cameos from Hollywood’s Carol Burnett and Bruce Dern, and promises to rival Barbie for colourful costumes and sets, as Simmons stops at nothing to cross the line between the haves and the have-yachts.
Big Life Fix
Wednesday, RTÉ1, 9.35pm
It’s the final episode of this series in which a crack team of scientists, inventors and engineers put their brainy heads together to find ingenious solutions for everyday challenges faced by people with disabilities or illness. For this finale, the team – led by rocket scientist David McKeown – are looking for ways to help 28-year-old Sarah, who was born with one arm and leg, follow her passion for outdoor pursuits. Sarah’s prosthetic leg can sometimes make it difficult for her to be as active as she would like to be, so it’s up to McKeown and his crack team of experts to think outside the box and help Sarah find her freedom.
3 Body Problem
From Thursday, Netflix
You’re going to have to sit up and pay attention while watching this time-bending, mind-blowing, reality-twisting thriller, which jumps from 1960s China during the Cultural Revolution to modern-day Oxford and New York and into a phantasmagorical virtual reality realm. The plot? A Chinese scientist in the 1960s makes a fateful decision that results in the biggest threat to humanity ever. When the world’s most brilliant boffins start turning up dead in mysterious circumstances, ex-intelligence officer Da Shi (Benedict Wong) teams up with a group of scientists to fight this unseen new enemy. Irish actor Liam Cunningham stars as elite intelligence boss Wade, with Jonathan Pryce as environmentalist turned oil tycoon Mike Evans.
A Life in Ten Pictures
Thursday, BBC2, 9pm
Can you tell someone’s entire life story through just 10 photographs? This series attempts to do just that, with each episode focusing on one famous figure, using just 10 iconic shots to encapsulate their essence. Series one featured Amy Winehouse, John Lennon, Muhammad Ali, Elizabeth Taylor, Tupac Shakur and Freddie Mercury. This second series starts with Carrie Fisher, instantly recognisable as Princess Leia in Star Wars, and continues with picture profiles of Bruce Lee, Robin Williams, Alexander McQueen, Ella Fitzgerald and Nelson Mandela.
Beyond Paradise
Friday, BBC1, 8pm
Kris Marshall stars as detective Humphrey Goodman in this second season of the Death in Paradise spin-off. As you already know, Humphrey has left the fictional Caribbean island of Saint-Marie to settle in the fictional village of Shipton Abbott on the Devon coast. Luckily, there’s still plenty of death going on in this picturesque location, and Humphrey has joined the local police force to help them solve murders and what-not. In this episode, the local theatre group is rehearsing a murder mystery on a steam train, and Humphrey has been roped in to play a detective, but when the actor playing the victim turns out to be really dead, Humphrey has to quickly get back into character and find out whodunnit.
Celebrity Big Brother Live Final
Friday, UTV, 9pm
We’ve been glued to our tellies for the past few weeks as some of the world’s biggest stars – including X Factor judges Louis Walsh and Sharon Osbourne, presenter Fern Britton and Kate Middleton’s uncle Gary Goldsmith were locked in immortal combat in the Celebrity Big Brother house. Now comes the live final, the moment we’ve all been waiting for, as one of the celebs will be declared the winner, while the rest of them slink off back to their A-list careers. At the time of writing, Goldsmith, the self-styled black sheep of the royal family (I thought that was Harry), was the latest evictee – has he convinced viewers he’s not really a cad? And who will be crowned the winner and watch their career take off again?