Daggers are drawn and tears cascade as The Traitors Ireland (RTÉ One, 9.30pm) turns personal at the start of its final week. “You’re all mean girls and I’m a faithful,” says Joanna after she is ganged up on – and voted off – at an excruciatingly tense round table.
The crying isn’t over. As one of the “mean girls” – Joanna’s words – who led the charge, Vanessa is crestfallen. “It’s just the realisation I’m a dickhead,” she says.
Kelley is even more devastated. Joanna gifted her with a shield, and she repaid it by putting the other woman’s name down on her miniature chalkboard of doom. “To Joanna, I want to say I’m sorry,” she says. “I hate thinking she’s left the game with a sour taste in her mouth.”
How did it all turn so nasty? The answer is that, with the last of the original traitors, Paudie, gone, the faithful have turned on one another – if “turn” can capture the sheer unpleasantness of the round table.
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It all goes back to a misunderstanding about whether or not Joanna asked Oyin and Vanessa why they didn’t vote for Faye at a previous round table. On one side are Faye, Vanessa and Oyin – plus a less vengeful Kelley, who is without a natural ally after her bestie Amy is murdered during the night.
On the other is Joanna. Now flying without her wingman, Paudie, she has always been open about not forging any close links with the other women contestants. She followed her own path – and it’s led straight to the exit.
Her departure is horrible to watch – especially as the infighting is exclusively among the faithful. Still, there are bright points in the third last instalment – not least a novel task involving a creepy ruin on the hill of Slane, where the players are required to stuff out torches belonging to the contestant they trust the least.
Poor Joanna gets all her fires put out – but with the consolation prize of a shield (which she gives to the ultimately ungrateful Kelley) and a dagger, that gives her two votes at the round table, which she directs at Vanessa.
As skin and hair fly, what about the traitors? It’s the bromantic duo of Nick and Ben – and what an easy time they have of it. Instead of needing to plot or lie, all they have to do is stand back and let the drama between the “Mean Girls” and Joanna play out (there is also under-the-radar faithful Wilkin, who could very well sleepwalk into Tuesday’s final).
“It’s ours to lose,” observes Nick – and it might be the smartest thing anyone says in the entire episode.
