Often the source of challenging mental health problems can be found more in events than in genetic make-up.
For Richard, the trigger was a change in work roles which he found overwhelming; for Catherine, the breakdown of her marriage; and for Aisling, the death of her pony’s foal on the morning of a Junior Cert exam.
Their stories are among 20 told in Stories of Hope and Recovery by members of the Grow Mental Health association and collected by Mike Watts.
Grow, which originated in Australia in 1957, has been in Ireland for more than 50 years as a mutual self-help organisation. It has good relationships with mental health services.
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The concept of ‘mutual self-help’ means that each member takes the necessary steps for his or her own mental health but with the support of the others.
One of its ambitions is for members to outgrow it through their own recovery.
Richard had returned to work after five months’ sick leave following a serious operation to find that he had been given a new responsibility he did not feel competent to take on.
Flooded with paperwork, spreadsheets and charts, he was unable to make sense of it all. His confidence fell away as did his performance, and this generated complaints.
Eventually, he planned suicide. As he was about to carry out his intention to crash into a stone wall at high speed, it struck him that if he was not killed, he might need lifelong care. Not wanting to impose that misery on his family, he postponed his plan.
Instead he joined Grow. He found it a huge relief to meet other members there who already knew or understood how he felt.
Each week he was given a task to improve his circumstances or to change them.
He sought and got help at work and then was able to move to another department “with a huge sense of relief”.
What helped him move all the way into recovery was the arrival in his home of a dog named Bill. The dog lifted his emotions to the extent that he eventually phased out his medication and was able to cope with future challenges such as his wife’s illness.
Catherine had moved to a new area because her marriage had broken down. When she met a former neighbour, that person could see that the breakdown was taking a mental and physical toll on her. The neighbour suggested that she get in touch with Grow in Limerick.
Week by week, she learned new coping skills from the other members and, like Richard, was given tasks to improve her situation.
During the next couple of years she came to a place in which she felt really good. A lot of her old self was back, she writes. She has many friends she met at Grow.
One of the most painful episodes In Aisling’s young life was the death of her pony’s foal on the morning of her Junior Certificate exams. She already hated school.
Somehow she managed to push her emotions down and get through the exam. A couple of years later she still felt “horrific” inside and suicide was beginning to look attractive.
Later, in a training for work position, she endured being shouted at and sworn at in public. One day she drove the two hours to her family home crying and ashamed.
At her mother’s suggestion she went to see a doctor. A turning point for her was that the doctor “offered me a seat with an air of openness and warmth. That, combined with her beautiful presence and listening ear, was the first baby step on the journey to recovery.”
When she went to Grow, she was delighted that she “could simply sit and listen to other warm open hearts sharing stories and vulnerabilities”. The first task given to her by Grow was to come back.
Later, she returned to college to do a master’s degree in occupational therapy.
Grow is at grow.ie and its information line is at 0818 474 474
- Padraig O’Morain (Instagram, Twitter: @padraigomorain) is accredited by the Irish Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy. His books include Acceptance – create change and move forward; his daily mindfulness reminder is available free by email (pomorain@yahoo.com).