“They say no man is an island. We need people,” says Josephine O’Neill, president of Macra, a voluntary group that brings together thousands of young rural dwellers across Ireland.
Humans aren’t just social creatures; we’re simply not made to go it alone.
“Most fundamentally, seeing ourselves as part of a community fulfils our basic need to belong. We all need the obvious food, water, and shelter in our lives, but humans are also motivated to seek and maintain social connections,” says Dr Ann-Marie Creaven, Associate Professor in Psychology at the University of Limerick.
“Having a real community, and seeing ourselves as part of a community, helps fulfil that.”
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Dr Creaven’s research explores how social connectedness and loneliness are related to mental and physical health outcomes like depression and how well we cope with illnesses.
The figures on loneliness in Ireland are stark. A 2022 EU survey found Ireland to be the loneliest country in Europe, with one in five people feeling lonely most or all of the time.
A 2025 Organisation For Economic Co-Operation And Development (OECD) report revealed that loneliness among young people in Ireland now exceeds that of all other age groups. Together, these findings highlight a serious public health concern driven by complex social and economic factors.
However, loneliness isn’t a one-dimensional experience, nor is it always bleak or even permanent. The good news is that fostering meaningful connections and building a supportive community during lonelier times in our life is within our reach.
“What’s often missing from the conversation is that occasional and mild loneliness are very normal,” says Dr Creaven. “If you move to a new area, it’s quite likely you will feel lonely for a time as you settle in. A little dose of this is not necessarily a bad thing, it’s part of the human experience. What is really hard for people is when they experience lot of loneliness or very intense feelings of loneliness.”
She adds that the while the shape of our social world has changed, our need to connect with others remains strong. This is down in part to the loss of the “third place”, communal gathering spots outside of home (first place) and work (second place) that are important for social connections.
“We don’t have inbuilt environments or third places that facilitate people having low-level connections, so it’s very difficult to develop new ones,” says Dr Creaven.
“We used to have church for this, but we don’t engage with organised religion in the same way, and nothing has filled that gap yet. There isn’t a place you go every week where you meet your neighbours, regardless of whether they have kids or like the same sport as you.”
Since the pandemic, more people are working from home and moving farther from cities because of rising costs, which has reshaped our sense of community and been a key driver of growing loneliness and isolation.
“A lot of our young farmers may be working by themselves and not see many people from one end of the week to the other,” says O’Neill.
“Also, many of our young people are emigrating which leaves behind friends who are missing a community and a network. Macra is a big believer in community and providing a place for people to belong. It’s important to be able to share your worries or just have the craic with others or have someone to have a quiet chat with.”
John Mee leads the fundraising team at Outhouse, a Dublin-based charity that offers a social space for LGBTQ+ people that includes a community cafe, drop-in centre, and free events.
Mee agrees that there’s a dwindling number of third spaces for people to meet which can add to the isolation felt by minority groups who have been rejected by those closest to them.
“We’re a public space where people can just chill out and drop in to connect with people who happen to be there and talk to our staff and volunteers.
“There’s no pressure to even buy a coffee. There are so few spaces like that now in Ireland. The cost of living plays a part, especially in Dublin, when you can spend so much on trying to have a social life,” he says.
How to find your community
Embrace the new: The nature of how we form connections and engage socially has evolved.
Ciara Gunn, founder of Sunrise Social Cork meetup group says there is more demand than ever for this low-pressure way to meet new people without the formality of networking or the expectations of traditional social circles. The group is part of a wider social initiative started by Co Down woman Caroline McKenna, who launched the concept as a lonely ex-Pat living in Australia during lockdown.
“The pandemic made us more socially reserved so people are now looking for a way back to community in new ways, “says Gunn. “We see a lot of people who are new to the area or who may not have friends nearby. For me, a lot of my friends are married with kids and if I didn’t have this, I’d fall into the trap of spending a lot of time by myself.”
“It’s easier to stay at home, go on our phones and not put ourselves out there. We want to show that there’s lots of options to meet new people. You might not necessarily make a friendship straight away, but you’re at least getting out and experiencing different things.”
Don’t give up: One of the biggest challenges in building community is finding the time. In a world where everyone feels stretched and convenience is the elixir, making the effort to make friends often takes a back seat.
“We see TV shows where everything is accelerated, someone comes to a new area and makes friends quite quickly. That isn’t real life. It takes time to build community and a little bit of resistance in terms of repeatedly engaging with events that might be of interest to us or where we can meet new people.
“I would say put yourself out there and acknowledging that it takes time,” says Dr Creaven.
Don’t fear rejection: “I think a lot of people try something and it doesn’t go well, or if they just can’t connect with somebody in a group, they see that as a personal failing,” says Mee.
“It’s not something to be ashamed of and it’s not a signal that there’s something wrong with them. It’s just a reminder that we’re all human. Social media often shows a perfect version of life, and it can feel safer to stay in that space. Making deeper connections with people can be messy, and non-linear but it’s worth it.”
Gunn has noticed that the Sunrise Social group tends to mostly draw women in their mid-20s to mid-40s, which may be down to the lingering stigma for men around admitting they lonely and crave connection. She plans to grow the group’s social media presence, sharing more photos from meetups so everyone can “see themselves in it” and feel more confident about taking that first step to join.
Just start: “The pandemic really highlighted for me the importance of having a community and the potential of organisations like Macra for giving space and opportunities for this.” says O’Neill.
“It’s a big step to take that first step, but once you do you won’t look back.”
“A lot of people put so much pressure on the task of finding that connection and it can be really disheartening when it doesn’t go the way that they want it to,” says Mee.
“Community forms through small, repeated interactions and continued participation. It starts with small acts, just showing up, saying hello, volunteering, sharing space with others.”
