In the beauty world, pseudoscience reigns supreme and ridiculous treatments and cosmetics are the norm. Here are just a few of my favourites:
Extraocular implants:
Eyeball jewellery sounds like something from a sci-fi film, but the JewelEye procedure has been performed in the Netherlands for more than a decade. Ophthalmologists insert tiny pieces of metallic jewellery beneath the white of the eye; hearts, stars and euro signs are popular. As someone who is squeamish about putting in eye drops, this horrifies me.
Foot Botox:
This trend proves that some women will endure anything to continue wearing high heels. Botox injections into the balls of the feet, together with collagen fillers, take away the pain of standing for long periods in stilettos. It is cheaper by hundreds of euro to get some Scholl Party Feet. Just do that.
Live snail facials:
Products using snail mucus are not new, but I draw the line at allowing snails to crawl around my face, depositing slime . Although, you could not get a more freshly prepared product, could you?
Benefit Benetint:
The lip and cheek tint was the product that launched one of the most successful global beauty brands of recent times, but Benetint was originally developed for a different purpose: the Benefit sisters had a small shop in San Francisco, and when a customer – a stripper – asked them to develop a strongly pigmented tint for her nipples because she got better tips when they were red, the sisters complied. Benetint and an empire were born.
Sheep placenta facial:
Another revolting facial that has found favour with crazy celebrities with too much money and vanity. Harry Styles, the Mick Jagger of the boyband world, is said to be a fan.
Blue armpit hair:
Dyeing your pits blue, arguably made popular by Lady Gaga, has become a statement of female empowerment for those who follow the trend. Not only are they choosing not to shave, they are also taking things a step further by drawing even more attention to it. Sure why not.
Fanny Facial:
No this has got nothing to do with Gwyneth Paltrow and her undercarriage-steaming practices. It is a facial for your bum, or, as the Americans call it, your "fanny". Your bum is given a good scrub, blackheads are extracted, spots squeezed and a mask is applied, followed by rich body creams. Hairy bums are also waxed to within an inch of . . . well, they are thoroughly waxed. It really does sound like a dream job for some lucky beauty therapist.
Twitter @aismcdermott
amcdermott@irishtimes.com
