Money burns a hole in my pocket at the best of times, but I’m at my most trigger-happy when I’m offered the chance to purchase some sort of miracle. Forcibly, I shut down the interrogatory, sceptical part of my brain and render myself deliberately credulous.
Never more so than when it comes to products that promise to magically improve my skin. I am here for the snake oil.
However, the snake oil that’s intended to “anti-age” (more on that phrase in a minute) the eye area, no longer has me in its spendy spell. We’re urged to use a separate, different cream because the skin is thinner and “more delicate” than the rest of the face.
But as someone who’s used about seven million eye creams over the years, I think they make feck-all difference.
Which brings me to this little yoke. From Foreo – the Swedish company that makes the world’s most attractive toothbrushes and nifty electronic skincare tools (I’m devoted to my Luna cleanser) – comes the Iris.
It is made of non-abrasive silicone. You switch it on, hold it under your eye and it starts tap-tapping away, mimicking the type of finger tapping that’s used in lymphatic drainage. There are two modes: Pure mode, where it “walks” along in a waddling motion; and Spa mode, where it pulses as well as taps.
Using it for a minute a day – 30 seconds on each eye – promises to “reduce visible signs of crow’s feet, dark circles and bags”.
After using it for eight weeks, here’s what I can tell you. In my considerable experience, nothing reduces dark circles. Nor can I see any reduction in my eye wrinkles. But the Iris genuinely does have other effects. It’s top-notch for tapping away puffy eyes and bags, (if said bags are made of water, not fat) so that I look fresher and healthier than I would if left to my own devices.
And that’s what I want, if it all possible: to look well-rested, even when I’m not. “Anti-ageing” is technically impossible. Also – excitingly – there seems to be a backlash against the notion. Instead people are starting to simply want to look like their best version for their age.
Obviously it’s all a bit Last Days of Rome to be shelling out €119 for a machine that replicates the tapping of my own fingers. However, this little yoke taps better and faster, and because it cost me money, I’m more likely to use it.