Q I am a woman in my 30s and I have just started exercising for the first time in my life. It is hell. Puffing and wobbling up the road while everyone stares at me is not my cup of tea. Still, I don't want to die young, so I keep on doing it. Is there anything that I can do to look cool while jogging? Emer, Kildare
A Looking cool while exercising is a bit of an impossibility, because looking cool is supposedly effortless, while exercising is a public demonstration of effort. Undignified, sweaty, stinky effort.
Wear black, and wear Stella McCartney. Her Adidas tops are made with super-stretchy materials that absorb sweat. Wearing black means that you cannot exercise in the early morning or evening, because you could be squashed by an articulated lorry, but that's just the way of cool. The window of opportunity is small and perilous.
Wear sunglasses that are larger than your head to hide bulging eyes and puffy cheeks. They will prevent you from making panicked eye contact with every fellow jogger you see and psychically screaming out to them to save you from your quest for improved cardiovascular health. Buy them cheap, for they will fall off your face in a very uncool manner unless you attach them to your ears with elastic. This is also markedly uncool. Penneys, New Look and Asos have a good year-round selection of sunglasses.
One should never sacrifice arch support for perceived coolness. Go on the Nike website and customise yourself a good pair of running shoes.
Conversely, you could stop caring about looking good and just run your heart out. Unless you are Kelly Brook or have three legs, it's likely that no one is looking at you huffing and puffing at all. All you need is willpower and a good sports bra.
(L-R) Nike iD Free Run 2, €150, nike.com. Athletic top, €60 by Stella McCartney for Adidas. Sunglasses, €7.99 from New Look
Email your wardrobe woes to wardrobing@irishtimes.com
