Paula Gahan is from Kildare, but lives in London. She works as cabin crew for an international airline
So, you’ve moved to London and need a place to live. Unless you’re the progeny of an oligarch or have inherited an oil field, you’ll likely do your time living with a bunch of strangers off the internet. Welcome to the London house share.
The old saying is true; if you want to know me, come live with me, but no one tells you what they’re really like in house share interviews. They rarely admit that they like to keep their toothbrush in the fridge and do weights with old logs they found in a skip that infests the house with fleas (true story).
After six years of house sharing in London; I’ve made all the mistakes, so you don’t have to.
Here’s my top five tips to survive your London house share:
Interview housemates
An interview can weed out any potential problems, such as the guy with six snakes who wanted to keep dead mice in the freezer. Enough problems arise with the human housemates, never mind six cobras slithering around the place.
You could be living with the nicest person in the world and after a few weeks of having to clean their pubes off the toilet, you'll hate the sight of them
Everyone gets annoying after a while. You could be living with the nicest person in the world and after a few weeks of having to clean their pubes off the toilet, you’ll hate the sight of them. The best thing to do is get in some fundamentally kind, easy-going people who are able to deal with the inevitable conflict when it arises.
Don’t argue in the house WhatsApp group
The house group chat is a breeding ground for keyboard warriors. You know that guy who gives it loads in the WhatsApp group, but when you pass him in the hall he looks like a frightened rabbit? We’re all adults, so if the chat starts to get passive-aggressive, end it and agree to talk face-to-face.
Make friends with the landlord
I had the same landlord for six years, a lovely old man in his seventies who I ended up becoming good friends with and when things got rough, was a great ally. I’d reach out to him for advice when the proverbial hit the fan. I know some landlords are evil, but, if possible, try and cultivate a friendship with yours.
‘Can I move my friend in? She’s really cool.’
Trust me, she’s not cool at all, and within a week the pair of them will have teamed up to commandeer the front room and extort money out of you for non-existent utility bills (another true story).
Here’s a tip - don’t move in with couples or friends, they always end up taking sides and ganging up. It can quickly turn into an episode of Big Brother, without the benefit of being able to vote people out.
Have an exit plan
Sharing a house with strangers is generally not a good long-term plan. I remember living with a guy in his fifties who said it was fine, just like having his own apartment. He had a mini fridge, a home-made toilet, and a Bunsen burner in his room. Don’t let it get to that stage. The homemade toilet is where I personally would draw the line.
Living with people you love is hard at the best of times, living with people you don't even like can be a cruel form of torture
Know when to walk away
It’s better to leave. We all make mistakes. If it’s really not working out, the effects on your mental health can be devastating. Nip things in the bud, keep an open honest dialogue, don’t allow resentments to fester, and expect problems - it’s how you deal with them that matters.
Living with people you love is hard at the best of times, living with people you don’t even like can be a cruel form of torture. If it’s affecting your mental health, it’s time to leave.
I can look back on it all now with good natured humour after finally getting on the property ladder at the age of 34, and the upside of house sharing is that you’ll never again take your privacy and personal space for granted.
Or you could take Kirstie Allsopp's advice and just cancel your Netflix and gym subscriptions and you'll be living on a yacht in the south of France in no time.
If you're struggling in any living situation, reach out to the Samaritans, the number is the same in the UK and Ireland - 116 123
If you live overseas and would like to share your experience with Irish Times Abroad, email abroad@irishtimes.com with a little information about you and what you do
