It’s Mother’s Day today and thinking about how to make the day special for my mum, and my husband’s mum, I momentarily forgot that I’ll be getting a card too. As the adoring mother of a little “almost” two-year-old treasure, I still have to pinch myself every day and marvel that he’s really ours. We’re finally starting to trust ourselves that we’re doing ok with him.
The days start bright and early with the sound of his morning shuffle and chatter coming through the monitor, and his little routine begins – clutching his bedtime teddies when he comes to “see mama” for a cuddle while daddy pulls on his clothes; down for breakfast; a little play while I prepare his lunch; then coat and hat on, he’s bundled into the car to go to his childminder for the day while “mammy and daddy go to work”.
And off he goes to one of the most wonderful women we’ve ever met – the woman who loves him almost as much as we do; who takes him out in the pram to feed the ducks in the pond, or to the shopping centre to meet “his public” (after all, he now knows more people in town than we do); who teaches him to share with the other children in her care; who administers the Calpol or the Sudocreme or the BandAid for whatever ails him during the day; who sings special songs to him; and knits him the most beautiful cardies – his Weekday Mammy.
Finding this lady to look after our son while we both work was one of the best things that ever happened to us. We don’t have to worry about him for one minute during the day and that’s priceless to us. If he’s not reading a book with her, he’s playing with his best friend (another sweet-natured toddler) or one of the other kids who go there after school. And if they’re not about, he spends his time following her husband around the house – a man who is equally gifted with kids, and loved by all of them.
There have been times since he was born when I’ve been consumed by maternal guilt – early on when I tried my best to breastfeed because I was bombarded with research telling me it was so much better for him, and yet it just wasn’t working – he was hungry and I was miserable; or later during maternity leave when I felt like the worst mother in the world because I didn’t quite know what to do with him all day; and more recently, seeing how quickly he’s growing up, I wondered if I should give up the job I love to stay home with him – after all, if I was any good, I’d surely prefer to stay home, wouldn’t I? I considered the options seriously, but then thought back to his last year, and realised that he’s really getting the best of both worlds.
When he’s with us every morning, evening, weekend, and holiday, he’s the centre of our world and we have our own little family rituals; and when he’s over there, he plays with other kids, meets other people, and enjoys different experiences. When I see how much he’s come on and how sociable he is – how secure and happy and full of curiosity and fun he is – I have no doubt we’re doing the right thing for him, all thanks to his wonderful other family.
It’s no small thing to trust someone with the most precious thing you have, and that someone becomes one of the most important people in your life. The women who give of themselves so generously to help nurture our children in safety, security and comfort are rare and beautiful souls. So this weekend I honour and praise all of the Weekday Mammies out there, those of you who care for the little ones with such energy and commitment. Thank you for your kindness and love, and Happy Mother’s Day!
