There's a WhatsApp group for everything and I'm in most of them, how do I escape?
From Oscar's Holy Communion! to Concerned Residents! our heads and our handsets are bulging with WhatsApp messages. But, as in real life, if the chat isn't relevant or just petering out, why hang on? It's time to say goodbye.
So I just leave the group then?
Think about WhatsApp like a party. If it's a small gathering, saying "goodbye" is good manners, but pick the right time. If Cliona on the Little Yale Preschool Mums WhatsApp group has just shared a picture of Ralph's karate certificate, don't leave just then.
“Sometimes people leave groups and other members may think they said something or did something wrong,” says Orla McAuliffe, chief executive of the Professional Training Centre. “Always be clear that you are leaving the group and wish everyone well. That’s common courtesy.”
Of course if “Concerned Residents!” is a cast of thousands, tenuously connected, and you are now neither concerned nor resident, your exit is unlikely to rankle.
Over and out
If Lorcan's surprise 50th! is now over, feel free to bail, but again it's courteous to say goodbye. "What a night. Great to see everyone, thanks for organising!" That should do the trick.
'Sorcha left' –!
Yes, that's the message participants will see when you leave – but it's hardly a scandal? If you added a little wink or waving hand emoji to your final message, all but the most fragile of egos will know it's good vibes only from you.
I'm not brave enough…
No probs hun. Hang on in there if you like, as people you barely don't know clog up your Inbox, ribbing each other about a fluffed (missed) tackle in the U14 schools' rugby final of 1983. What larks. Get out while you still can.
But what about the children?
In old WhatsApp groups to do with your child, some parents will have gelled. The rest don't need to hear them arrange coffees. If Tai Chi for Tots ended two years ago and you have all moved on with your lives, set up a sub-group for those coffees.
Let common sense prevail, says McAuliffe. “If there are lingering conversations that you are not involved in, there is nothing wrong with leaving, but put a positive twist on it.” Do your best not to leave abruptly, she says.
You could say, “Tadhg really loved Tai Chi for Tots. He’s moved up to seniors. Hope to see you guys around. Thanks again!”
In fact remaining but not participating is actually more odd. “Running late, can you get me a skinny cap, two sweeteners?” “No probs babes” “Thanks hon” “Do you want a scone...” But you may well be fascinated by all of this and quietly stay.
Duty of care
With great power comes great responsibility. Being the WhatsApp group administrator is like being the host at a party. Ask participants' permission before adding them and let them know when it's time to go too. "If the event is over or the class has ended, notify everyone that the group is ending," says McAuliffe. Or you could let participants know it's okay to leave. Nobody wants "Maeve's Hen!" to go on forever.
