Calvin O'Brien is a third-year computer-science student at the National College of Ireland. He returned home to repeat exams in August after spending the summer in San Francisco, on a J1 visa.
“I got the exams out of the way and passed them,” he says, “but I found it hard to be back in Ireland, and the jet lag meant that I couldn’t sleep at night. I also found out that I was going to be a father, which was a major shock for me, as I had split up with my girlfriend.”
O’Brien says that he didn’t mention these issues to family or friends for about three months. “I made the stupid mistake of not talking about it. My close friends and family could see something was wrong with me, but I said, ‘Don’t worry, I’ll tell you when the time is right.’ ”
In the meantime he was struggling with his studies and not speaking to anyone, apart from his ex-girlfriend, about the pregnancy.
“I found myself lying in bed at night, thinking that I did nothing during the day. I ended up opening up to one of my close friends, and she had a go at me for keeping things to myself for so long. The more I began to open up to other people about what was going on, the easier it got.”
O’Brien was advised to see a student counsellor.
“Most people think that opening up is a sign of weakness, but I think it is a big sign of strength. The counsellor will check up on me once a week now, and she will talk to the course co-ordinator to organise revision classes for me. I’m getting back on track with socialising, too.”
Of his former girlfriend, O’Brien says, ‘We’re not back together, but we are on good terms.’ ”
O’Brien was willing to talk publicly about his experience as part of the Chats for Change mental-health campaign.
Organised by the Union of Students in Ireland, St Patrick's Mental Health Services and See Change's Please Talk campaign, Chats for Change encourages students to talk about their mental health.
The campaign toured third-level campuses in Dublin, Galway, Kerry and Cork this week, offering expert advice from Please Talk, Jigsaw, Spun Out and the HSE, and one-to-one consultations with St Patrick’s Mental Health Services.
Free tea packs were distributed with support-services contacts and tips for taking the fear out of talking about mental health.
“College is great fun, but it can sometimes have its stresses too,” says Greg O’Donoghue, the student union’s welfare officer. “No matter how happy someone may seem, don’t be afraid to ask them how they are. You never know how they are feeling on the inside.”
