The traditional scenario of "boy meets girl from the next parish, and lives happily ever after" is far less common than it used to be, and the love business in Ireland is prospering. Research by Irish Life found 24 per cent of Irish people had tried online dating and the latest CSO figures show the average age for Irish brides and grooms is 33 and 35 respectively. So we're staying single longer, marrying later, and looking for new ways to meet people.
Romance is well and truly alive, with a billion cards sent globally on Valentine’s Day (An Post delivers about 100,000 each year) and the average spend on a ring being €1,333 according to research by Littlewoods.
Irish businesses, such as these below, have responded.
The matchmakers
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“Feargal and I had ambitions to own our own business and one night in 2011 we were celebrating a friend’s birthday in a bar when I saw a well-dressed guy in his 40s standing alone and clutching a pint to his chest. I thought he was waiting for a friend or partner, but nobody came and he was there all night. It struck me that he was there in the hopes of meeting someone and I thought, there must be a better way.
“So Feargal and I spent a few months doing research and a large number of acquaintances told us they’d gone out alone in the hope of meeting someone special, with few results.
“We have grown from one small office with both of us working part-time to a city-centre suite with six staff serving thousands of members.
“Our fee is €595 and for that you get five introductions which we arrange. We don’t just pass out phone numbers, we organise every date including booking the table and follow-up calls. Our members are from 22 to 83 and all walks of life.
“Largely what keeps us motivated is the draw of making a fundamental difference in people’s lives. We aren’t arrogant enough to say that we have the formula for chemistry because no formula exists, nor does the process work for everyone. But we have a high success rate and it’s a real buzz when the date feedback calls happen each morning and we hear the joy in the voices of the people that had a great introduction.
“Our busiest period is from Christmas Day to spring. People may have had a lonely Christmas and don’t want to be in the same position next year. Loneliness is an epidemic in Ireland; we seem to be deeply ashamed if we haven’t been fortunate enough to serendipitously stumble upon our life partner. A huge reason why people use Intro is because it is private and confidential. Many are terrified of admitting that, although they may have a good life, it could be better if they had someone to share it with.
“Nobody wants to be coming to us. Quite often people will have exhausted all other avenues: blind dates, set ups and years going out to bars spending a fortune hoping to meet someone. They’ll often have tried online dating, but also some would never try it because they worry about privacy and safety. When clients decide to come and meet us they see that we are nice people and we will try our best to help them with no false promises.
“It’s really difficult for us to put a number on exactly how many marriages and babies we are responsible for because people are very Irish about talking about where they met and maybe embarrassed they had to go to a dating agency to find each other. They will, however, tell their single friends quietly about us. We get calls from people telling us they were at a wedding and the bride and groom met through us. Between the couples we know of and those we strongly suspect have got married so far I would hazard a guess at north of 90 and six babies.
“We are humbled that so many people entrust us with their love life. To come to work every day knowing you can effect so much positive change is just wonderful.”
The ring designer
Jewellery designer Luisa Verling (32) works out of The Design House
“I fell in love with metalwork at the National College of Art and Design (NCAD) thanks to an old spot welder and a whole host of other heavy-duty machinery. After several years of training and work, I became head goldsmith in a busy jeweller’s workshop in Dublin.
“Ultimately though, I wanted to produce original, crafted jewellery and to a more collaborative and bespoke design and I now work alongside my clients to create an engagement ring that will be treasured, not only by the couple, but future generations.
“Increasingly clients create a small portfolio of images using Google or Pinterest but I find as soon as I meet a client, there will be visual clues in how they dress and carry themselves. I go through every factor with clients, whether it’s a surprise engagement ring or wedding rings for a couple – are they left or right handed? Do they use their hands for a living? Will they have to remove their ring in the workplace? Are they golf addicts? It’s all important to note so the ring is practical as well as beautiful.
“It’s part of my job to suit people’s budget. I’ve made absolutely beautiful engagement rings for under €1,000, or I can work with jewellery my clients may already own and refine this to reduce material costs.
“My role is to listen to my clients’ likes and dislikes and to help grow small ideas into grand designs. Nowadays, the majority of engagement rings are researched by both members of a couple and very few men would embark on their own purchase of an engagement ring – probably in the same way they wouldn’t buy their fiancée a new car without consulting them. There’s far too much at stake, emotionally and financially, and it needs to be right. When rings are ready for collection, I feel so excited and like I’ve played my part in bringing an idea to life.”
The card seller
Anne Lynott (34) runs gift and card shop Designist on George’s Street with Jennie Flynn and Barbara Nolan
“Right from the start we’ve been producing our own cards. We started with Christmas cards, which we asked some of our creative friends to design. When we went to source cards from other stockists we found there was a definite gap in the market for cards with an Irish sensibility.
“We’re all aware that Valentine’s is a bit of a made-up event, although it has a strong historical context, back to a pagan feast celebrating health, fertility and the change of the season. Valentine’s Day gives us an excuse to celebrate the love in our lives and, while we should just do this all the time, the odd nudge as a reminder is no harm.
“We definitely see an uptake in card sales around this time of year; perhaps people are happy to leave the gloom of January behind and get a bit giddy and silly with something small.
“Valentine’s can be tricky though, as Irish people can be very shy about their feelings, no one wants to declare their love in grand fashion and get laughed at, or feel like a phoney. The message on a Valentine’s card has to represent something about the actual relationship to be really meaningful, so sometimes it’s a true sentiment and sometimes it’s a shared joke.
“We stock cards from other designers, including a range of delicate laser-cut cards designed in Ireland that would represent the more traditional Valentine’s Day cards – there’s definitely a place for that. But our own cards are funny or insightful in some (particularly Irish) way. We aim to describe the feelings you might have for someone, not the feelings you are supposed to have. One of best-selling cards last year was a picture of a packet of crisps with ‘I know you don’t like all this Valentine’s nonsense, so here’s a bag of crisps’.
“Giving a card or present or taking someone out is the physical marker of a feeling but it’s also creating a memory, which is why we always try to do something a little bit extra for Valentine’s Day. Last year as Valentine’s was on a Saturday we had a free photo booth in the shop for couples to make their own selfie keepsakes.
“You could say birthdays are also nonsense if you wanted, but I think it’s important to mark the passing of time, have a little bit of ceremony in our lives and celebrate what you’re grateful for and who you love.”
The initiator
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"I lived in Boston in the 1990s and was working more than 80 hours a week, but had no social life. On the advice of a friend I took part in a speed-dating night and really enjoyed the experience; I met a lovely woman and dated for a year. I returned to Ireland and in 2008 started GetOut.ie, offering singles of all ages a wide choice of events where they could meet other people in a more informal scenario. Our events are hosted in Dublin, Cork and Galway.
“Today’s singles are facing a very challenging dating world. It’s becoming harder to meet genuine people with similar values in the traditional way, so we organise face-to-face meetings. We’ve had hundreds of success stories and many weddings. Would you believe that out of a crowd of 34 people, four couples met at speed-dating night in Galway in 2008 and got married? Last year alone we were invited to three weddings of couples that met through the service, and we know about two other engagements.
“If you are in the love business to make money, it won’t work. I’m successful because I care about my members.
“Speed dating events cost between €25 and €33, while singles nights are €15. My motivation is to help people meet and then guide them through the initial stages of first dates. I am always thrilled to hear about success stories but there are disasters too. One I remember is when two members met at a speed-dating night in Dublin and got on great. They had a few drinks and decided to venture into a VIP area of the nightclub that had alcoves and curtains. Let’s just say they really bonded in that small room, not realising that a camera perched overhead was being monitored by security. The couple were soon reminded about adult responsible behaviour and recommended some nearby accommodation.
“We gauge our success through how many people attend events and the fact that 75 per cent of those get matched up. We’ve attracted over 11,000 singles to our events over the years. And as for me? Well, I met a beautiful woman at a walking event in Wicklow; she’s now my wife and we have two great sons that keep us awake.”
