Tripti Anil had been living in Europe for more than a decade when she, her husband and their son Manu moved back to India. Born and brought up in Mumbai, Anil left India in her mid-20s and spent nearly a year in Switzerland with her husband before moving to Jersey in the Channel Islands. She briefly returned to India to give birth to her son but had spent many years building a life with her family in the UK. However, in 2014, Anil and her husband decided India was the best place for their son.
“Manu is a special needs child with moderate autism and he has some language but is severely delayed in terms of cognitive development. We wanted to try some alternative treatments for him, people had seen a lot of success with different therapies. So we left when he was 10, he’s the main reason we moved back.”
Anil was relieved to see her son respond well to the new treatments. “We actually saw success in leaps and bounds. He was learning new skills, his academics were coming on.”
Unfortunately there is no set path for parents to follow as to how you handle adults with autism. I could see Manu becoming an adult on the horizon and that scared me
She was surprised, however, by how difficult she found it restarting her life in Mumbai. “In terms of adjusting, life in Mumbai was hard. It was just so different compared to Europe.
“I’d never really worked in India before, the reporting internship I did after university was the only job I’d had there. And arriving into that Mumbai work culture was a huge shock to me, I struggled a lot. The way I’d had of working back in Jersey, you were encouraged to be your whole self. But in India I was second-guessing everything I said and my work-life balance was tossed out.
“But then again, I saw Manu making his progress so I made my peace. At least we were seeing success with him.”
Anil had worked in digital marketing in Jersey and found a job with a multinational consulting company when she returned to India. However, working with this latter organisation was “fiercely competitive” and “not as human as I would like it”.
After a few years, she noticed Manu’s initial progress had started to plateau and she became worried about his future.
“Unfortunately there is no set path for parents to follow as to how you handle adults with autism. I could see Manu becoming an adult on the horizon and that scared me.”
She started considering moving back to Europe, even though she knew her husband was happy with his job in Mumbai. Then, in 2020, Covid-19 hit the city and Manu’s school closed down. “It shut after 25 years of business and that was a real blow to us. Suddenly Manu didn’t have any mental support and there’s no such thing as online classrooms for children with special needs. They need that one-to-one attention. I started having these very existential questions, asking myself, what are we staying here [in India] for?”
Anil then discovered the Kellogg Company where she was now working had an opening in its Dublin office. “I applied for the role thinking it would be a natural progression for my career but then I landed it, and it was something you absolutely cannot turn down.”
I instantly fell in love with the area, it's in the middle of all these European headquarters and is very cosmopolitan
Her husband, who worked with a leading financial technology company, encouraged his wife to travel to Dublin and try out the new job. They agreed Anil should spend a few months in Ireland, settle into her new job, research the Irish services for young people with autism and then her husband and son would join her.
“If it wasn’t for my husband I wouldn’t have moved, he was my strongest cheerleader. He helped me a lot to make this decision to suddenly leave Mumbai to lead my life here in Dublin.”
Anil arrived in Dublin in September 2021. Her husband and Manu also flew over to spend three weeks in the city before returning to India. “I wanted Manu to drop me off and know where his mama would be. I didn’t want him thinking I’d just disappeared. It wouldn’t mean anything if I explained I was moving to Dublin, he thinks in pictures so bringing him was my priority.” The Kellogg Company arranged for the family to stay in the recently completed 22-storey Capitol Dock building while Anil found longer-term accommodation.
“I instantly fell in love with the area, it’s in the middle of all these European headquarters and is very cosmopolitan. You can just take a stroll by the Grand Canal and see a person of pretty much any nationality there, I loved the vibe.”
Manu also liked the area, particularly shopping in the local supermarket. “For the first time since he was born we did a little experiment while in Dublin. We love going for walks but Manu is very lazy so we asked if he could stay by himself for an hour and we did. We did that several times and realised we could take some time for ourselves.”
If you break out of your nest and go somewhere else, it just helps you grow as a person
Anil found Ireland quite similar to the UK but was struck by how friendly the people were. “It was a very distinctive difference. And the kind of welcome my new colleagues gave me made me feel like I’d always belonged to that team.”
She also likes her company’s ethos on the importance of family. “I know I can be more productive if I’m accepted along with my family and have enough time to be with them in person. That was a faith I came here with and it has only been reinforced during my first few months here.”
Anil has grown accustomed to living alone over the past few months and often walks into the city centre at the weekend to visit Eason on O’Connell Street where she spends hours leafing through books. However, she’s looking forward to her family’s arrival and hopes Manu will settle quickly into his new life.
“The one hope I have for Manu is that he will be able to live by himself and care for himself. I just hope he finds a route that suits him in Dublin. We do have a back-up plan but we’ll give ourselves a year to try this out.”
Asked how she feels about moving abroad again, Anil says working and living outside India has made her “calmer” and a “lot more mature”. “If you break out of your nest and go somewhere else, it just helps you grow as a person. There’s a lot of personal growth involved in those kinds of experiences, more than any university can teach. It rounds you out as a person.”
