Is there anything worse than the poxes you share the bus with in rush-hour traffic to and from work? No matter how many times you travel on public transport you never get used to it.
There’s always that one person who sits beside you and opens a fresh pack of Mega Meanies pickled-onion crisps at half seven in the morning and doesn’t give a rat’s.
Don't even get me started on the poxes who sit on the edge of their seat on a packed bus so you can't sit beside them
Then there's the people who bring on hot food from the deli and the absolute bang of sausage rolls (they don't even smell like sausage rolls, they smell like some aul lad's feet).
Then there's the ones who talk really loud on the phone when you're on the way home, it's dark out, the window is steamed up and you're trying to get a little nap in before you get home to watch a double Coronation Street, but no, "Oh it was great! You should have seen Saoirse last night she was sooo funny, OMG. Did you watch Stranger Things yet actually?" and then they proceed to spoil the series for every single poor unfortunate who forgot to bring their earphones to work that day.
Don’t even get me started on the poxes who sit on the edge of their seat on a packed bus so you can’t sit beside them – that wrecks my head. You can usually tell. They look at the ground or out the window and pretend that they have no idea that there are people getting on the bus. People have no consideration, I tell you, none at all.
I wish I could time travel back to the days where life was simple and the best part of your day was getting on the bus and sitting right at the front on the top deck and looking down at the bus driver's baldy head.
Aoife Dooley is an illustrator and author and creator of 'Your One Nikita'. Her new book, How To Deal With Poxes (On a Daily Basis), is out now.
