Stephen Teap: We can all agree with Keanu Reeves’s answer to the question ‘what happens when we die?’

Teap became a healthcare advocate after his wife, Irene, was failed by the CervicalCheck programme

Stephen Teap at a memorial celebration for Vicky Phelan in November 2022. Photograph: Niall Carson/PA

Stephen Teap is a healthcare advocate and chief executive of Cork ARC Cancer Support House. He is the father of two boys, Oscar and Noah.

How agreeable are you?

I’m very accommodating to a point, as long as it makes sense to me. I’m always willing to co-operate but I do have boundaries, mainly based on my own values. It’s what’s important to me, and important in life, based on fairness and equality. I have no problem saying no.

What’s your middle name and what do you think of it?

John. Very boring and plain; apologies to any Johns out there. I’m named after my grandfather, and even he went by the name Jack. I would have way preferred that.

Where is your favourite place in Ireland?

Clonakilty. You can’t beat it. Everything about it is perfect: the location, the setting, the food and atmosphere – it’s home from home. Also, my mum and her family are from just outside the town, and I would have spent a ton of time in my younger years down there.

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Describe yourself in three words

Fair. Honest. Passionate.

When did you last get angry?

It’s a toss-up. At one stage it was the Revenue Commissioners, who hadn’t returned my call. I was put through to an automated voice message and you put your mobile number in. The message was “we will call you back in 24 ... ” and I was expecting minutes; what followed was hours.

But since talking to you, it’s the homework email that I’ve just received for my son. I was thinking, Here we go again, and of the last article I read by Jen Hogan about homework.

What have you lost that you would like to have back?

I’ve lost so much in my life, and I’m fighting so hard to rebuild my life. I don’t know will I ever have a complete answer to this question.

What’s your strongest childhood memory?

In 1988 I was seven. I was the biggest Michael Jackson fan. I had the big Bad poster on my bedroom door. I think it might have been one of the first albums I ever got. I was the only Michael Jackson fan in my house. And then he came to Páirc Uí Chaoimh, and my mother snuck out. She just went missing, and I was asking my dad where she was gone. Michael Jackson was playing in Páirc Uí Caoimh and she just snuck out behind my back.

My dad then, because of my tantrum, had to drive me all the way over to the hill on the north side, in Montenotte, where you can look across at Páirc Uí Chaoimh and slightly hear the concert. Obviously, it’s 36 years later and it’s still a very strong childhood memory. Forgiving my mum for this is still a work in progress.

Where do you come in your family’s birth order, and has this defined you?

I’m the eldest and therefore had to battle for a lot – going to discos and all that sort of thing. This has stood to me in my adult years because if you want something you just need to get up and try your best to make it happen. Doesn’t always work, but at least you try.

Keanu Reeves. Photograph: Gareth Cattermole/Getty

What do you expect to happen when you die?

I don’t know, but I remember hearing Keanu Reeves say “I know that the ones who love us will miss us”, in response to this question, and it stuck with me, because it’s the first time I heard an answer to a question that we can all agree on. I’d like to think there’s something but I just don’t know. The thought of nothing is not a nice thought either.

When were you happiest?

Not to sound too cheesy but when I’m at home with my family and I have nowhere else to be. And I don’t get any orders to do bloody homework.

Which actor would play you in a biopic about your life?

I asked ChatGPT “who would you have play Stephen Teap in a biopic of his life?” and it came back with Cillian Murphy. I think it only said that because he’s from Cork, because he looks absolutely nothing like me. However, if he was to play me in a Peaky Blinders-type role, then I would be totally sold on it.

What’s your biggest career/personal regret?

I don’t really have any regrets. I like to try and fail, rather than not try at all. The incredible staff and volunteers in my new job in Cork ARC Cancer Support House do a savage job of keeping the kitchen table in work fully stocked with delicious cakes, which my waistline is starting to regret. But they’re too nice to resist, does that count?

Have you any psychological quirks?

Yes, I’m a very honest and transparent person to the point that I come across very blunt or even sharp at times. Over time people who get to know me know there’s no beating around the bush, you ask a question, you’ll get an answer.

It’s served me well though, and it certainly has aided me in the whole advocacy thing over the last few years as well.