RadioReview: Listeners got an insight into how press conferences work on Today with Pat Kenny (RTÉ1, Tuesday) when the programme went live to the Áras for President McAleese's announcement that she was nominating herself for a second term.
There's a pecking order and it was clear who the number one pecker was. After the President made her announcement there was one of those weird, uncomfortable silences when it's obviously question time and everyone looks at their shoes. On radio, a nanosecond of silence like that sounds like an eternity. Then a woman could be heard hissing "Charlie" in a sort of stage whisper. Then another, more urgent "Charlie" and finally, in an oh-for-god's-sake tone of voice: "Charlie Bird". At this point, the RTÉ newsman sprang into action, asked a question and the rest of the press corps followed.
A gender studies boffin should be able to knock out a couple of thousand words of a dissertation on why two women reporters both prefaced their questions with the apologetic "I was just wondering", while the male hacks boomed in, full of confidence, although their questions were equally anodyne.
It was never clear why the press conference was broadcast live - they never usually are. It's not as if the announcement was exactly unexpected. Even Kenny eventually got bored with it all and faded the coverage out in the middle of the President's answer to a question from the programme's own reporter.
Radio was the medium driving the presidential election debate - such as it is. Green party candidate Eamon Ryan announced his surprise candidacy on the News at One, (RTÉ1, Monday). Dana, sounding defeated already, set out her stall on Liveline, (RTÉ1, Monday) and both Gerry Ryan (2FM, Tuesday) and Marian Finucane, (RTÉ1, Wednesday) ran listener polls which gave a resounding "no" to the idea of there being an election at all. On Marian Finucane (RTÉ1, Thursday), 72 per cent said they didn't want an election. "Which leads me to believe that no one is interested in what is sanctimoniously referred to as democracy," commented Finucane.
The most thought-provoking interview was that of Michael D. Higgins on The Last Word (Today FM, Wednesday). Higgins promised an office that wouldn't be shy about getting involved in public debate. Able to quote the constitution chapter and verse, he showed he was fully aware of the boundaries, and said he would have no problem commenting about such controversial matters as the Shannon stopover. As President, he said, he would put the relationship between society and economy at centre stage. But don't we just want a happy-clappy presidency, asked Matt Cooper, "a totem for the feel-good spirit of the country?" "I think I'd make a very different argument," replied Higgins. "The presidency shouldn't be a decorative extension of government." The interview only went off track once, when Cooper - who is trying very hard to be a bit less buttoned up in his interview style these days - asked "What do you think you'd do with the place?" "The building?" shrieked Higgins, alarmed by the DIY direction the interview was taking. No, Cooper reassured him; he meant the office of President.
There was an air of unreality about all the presidential talk as every debate had to be prefaced with "if there even is an election". But for a giant dose of unreality, no one does escapism quite like Roger Gregg and his Crazy Dog Audio Theatre. He has produced six one-hour dramas broadcast on Saturday nights, and the second, The Irishman: Have Troll Will Travel (RTÉ1, Saturday), went out this week. It's a tale of magic and firearms in the Wild West; a pair of cowboys who may or may not be gay, on the hunt for a nine-inch troll kidnapped by a lady mayor.
Daft, of course, but Gregg's dramas are a rarity in that his work is written for radio and designed to incorporate a huge range of sound effects and music - with all the "theatre of the mind" atmosphere that conjures up. His work never has that hollow stagey feeling of most radio drama and he puts together a strong cast. The Irishman featured Owen Roe, Karen Ardiff, Conor Lambert and Morgan Jones and if there was a weakness in this rollicking drama it was the thin plot - even in a frantic, surreal drama, an hour's radio demands a meaty plot. Otherwise it sounds like an overlong sketch, a trap The Irishman fell into about halfway through.
If you like your escapism less hectic but with a lot more laughs, The 99p Challenge (BBC4, Wednesday) is the perfect drive time diversion. Chaired by Sue Perkins, there's quick-fire jokes, mini quizzes and, this week, a round where the panel had to complete a well-known quote: "Men never make passes at". "Girls who talk about their cats all the time," chipped in panellist Armando Ionnuci. Or that old political chestnut dear to the hearts of would-be presidential campaigners stuck in no-man's-land: "a week's a long time in . . . jelly."
