Couples waiting longer to tie the knot, statistics show

Couples are delaying marriage until later into their 30s and more are having civil marriages, according to the latest figures…

Couples are delaying marriage until later into their 30s and more are having civil marriages, according to the latest figures released by the Central Statistics Office yesterday.

In 2005, Mr and Mrs Average were 33 years old and 31 years old respectively when they took their marriage vows, compared to 1996, when their ages were 30 and 28.

Slightly more than 64 per cent of men and almost half of women getting married were over 30 in 2005. The oldest brides and grooms in Ireland were living in the Dún Laoghaire-Rathdown area. There, the average groom was almost 35 years old and the average bride was 32½.

But they were still slightly younger than farmers and farm managers around the country, who delayed longest to tie the knot - both men and women waiting until they were over 35.

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According to clinical psychologist, Marie Murray, people get married later for a variety of reasons including more educational opportunities, the cost of housing and higher ideals in terms of relationships.

"Many people also choose to live together for a number of years and a decision to get married may be based on the intention to have children," she said.

She said people also have higher ideals in terms of relationships and are less inclined to make a significant commitment until they find the idealised person.

"And people also become accustomed to a particular lifestyle, with only themselves to consider; it may be a lifestyle with significant experiences, including travel, that were not available to previous generations," she said.

The obvious advantages to later marriage include being more mature, having had the experience of previous relationships, Ms Murray said.

But there are disadvantages also, particularly the difficulties of adjusting to compromise with another adult and children, after being a "master of one's own affairs".

"A very enjoyable lifestyle may have been acquired and having to confer with another can be a downside," she said.

People are also moving away from church ceremonies for marriage. Of the 21,355 marriages in 2005, some 4,762, or just over 22 per cent, were civil marriages, five times more than in 1996.

Stephen Cummins, director of education at Accord, the Catholic marriage service, said they were not surprised to see an increase in the ages of couples getting married.

"A quarter of a century ago, the grooms coming to us were 25 on average and the brides were 21, one salary would sustain a family, world travel didn't exist, it was a different Ireland," he said.

September was the most popular month for marriage in 2005, followed closely by July and August, while the least popular was January. And more than a third of couples got married on a Saturday.

Fiona Gartland

Fiona Gartland

Fiona Gartland is a crime writer and former Irish Times journalist