A sexual abuse survivor from Co Armagh has waived her right to anonymity to encourage other women to seek counselling and come forward to the PSNI.
Linda Ferguson (27), from Dromintee in south Armagh, is speaking out to highlight the Nexus charity "Break the Silence" campaign. "I want to be brave for other women," she said.
Last month Linda's abuser, her brother Gavin Paul Ferguson, pleaded guilty to indecent assault at Newry Magistrates Court, where he received a two-year suspended sentence and was disqualified from working with young people. Linda, who was fostered and adopted by the Ferguson family, whom she no longer has contact with, told The Irish Times she was abused by her brother on a regular basis from the age of about nine.
“He told me I would be taken away and said nobody would believe me,” she said. “I am half Indian so he would call me nigger and gook and other horrible names to make me feel isolated.”
Linda says the biggest regret she has is not telling someone sooner about the abuse she suffered. “I met my partner when I was 18 and he asked me outright one night,” she said. “I was able to talk to him about it.”
Linda experienced nightmares, flashbacks and also developed insomnia, anxiety, depression and an eating disorder. She gave birth to a son and then after her daughter was born and she watched her grow “something just clicked when I looked at her”.
Courage
Linda says her children and loving partner gave her the strength and courage to contact the police and that her experience of the PSNI was a positive one. Now that her court experience is behind her she is focusing on her health and the love of her family.
“Court was about letting him know I wasn’t scared and acknowledging what he did was wrong, she said. “The day I heard that he pleaded guilty, that he admitted it, I was in shock. It was a horrendous time but I have the best possible partner and kids, my wee family, and I love my job.
“I am housing worker and can relate to the young people I can work with. Now the court is over I can close the chapter.”
Linda says she had “no self worth and no self esteem” and was referred to an eating disorder clinic and to Nexus, Northern Ireland’s leading rape and sexual abuse charity.
“I want everyone to know how wonderful my counsellor Lynda was,” she said. “I don’t think I would have had the strength and the courage if it wasn’t for her believing in me.” Linda says she has come through a very difficult time and while she “can still put the mask on sometimes” is rebuilding it slowly.
Devastation
She speaks of the devastation suffering in silence causes and is urging other abuse victims and survivors to seek counselling and also contact the police if they are ready for that step.
“I come from a very small village and everything is kept under wraps,” she said. “I think that is what’s wrong with society – people being so afraid to step up and speak out in case of the aftermath or what people might say.
“For me this is about other women coming forward. I really hope somebody reads the paper and decides to be brave.”
For information about Nexus and Sexual Violence and Abuse Awareness Week events (February 6-12th) visit http://www.nexusni.org