FF looks to spiritual therapy to relieve stress and strain

They have a treatment for every condition at Inchydoney Lodge and Spa, and political conditions are no exception.

They have a treatment for every condition at Inchydoney Lodge and Spa, and political conditions are no exception.

There's the "Marine Body Scrub" to remove dead skins cells and impurities, for example: perfect for a Taoiseach preparing a Cabinet purge.

And there's "deep-tissue massage" (buttocks included): tailor-made to relieve the tension that builds up when you have a marginal seat - in the Dáil or at the Cabinet table.

But when Fianna Fáil TDs and senators arrived for two days of therapy yesterday, it was a spiritual session they all booked in for, delivered by master conscience manipulator Father SeáHealy.

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Father Healy's massage technique is controversial in Government circles - he has sometimes rubbed the PDs up the wrong way. Yet his approach of inflicting short-term pain in the interests of long-term growth found willing victims here in Fianna Fáil.

The pain was not so short-term either. Scheduled to speak for an hour on his vision of a fairer society, the CORI man came in at 30 minutes over the Government estimate. But when the Fianna Fáilers emerged from the session, they had an inner glow, and not just because Father Healy had finally stopped talking.

It was his audience's many questions that took up the time, the speaker said, and there had been "a lot of resonance" for his message.

Not everybody heard the message, however. His theme of social exclusion was dramatically highlighted by - among others - the Minister for Defence, who opted out of most of the session, in favour of a quiet drink with friends.

The media were excluded too.

But afterwards the happy face of the Government Chief Whip, Mary Hanafin, welcomed us to the press conference.

"Thank you for joining us in this beautiful place," she said, leaving us to wonder if she meant Inchydoney Island, or the spiritual place that Fianna Fáil was in after a session with Father Healy.

The island was certainly beautiful in yesterday's balmy conditions.

A Gulf-Stream-warmed sea tempted Mary O'Rourke and Dermot Ahern in for a swim.

The Taoiseach strolled on the beach with a barefoot Ms Hanafin.

Even the anti-Government picket was more like a gentle exfoliation session: a few protesters held placards saying "Hands off Clonakilty Post Office", but - this being west Cork - they were too polite to chant anything.

The only negativity in the area was caused by the spa's "Brumisation" therapy ("deep-breathing seawater mist for increasing your negative ions").

Not that there was much time for that. After the CORI talk, TDs and senators broke up into workshops around the hotel. They discussed "Disaffected Youth" in the solarium; childcare ("The Early Years") in the residents' lounge; and so on. Despite the many distractions, there was the appearance of a party at work.

But then the whole point of the therapy is to avoid a repeat of the treatment received in the June elections, when the party received a kick in the deep-tissue massage area from which it is still recovering.