Don't answer that phone

That's men for you: Padraig O'Morain 's guide to men's health

That's men for you: Padraig O'Morain's guide to men's health

I was waiting in line at Dublin airport one day a couple of years ago to check in for a holiday flight when my mobile phone rang.

My caller was a person who needed me to ring somebody else on their behalf. While we shuffled forward I rang the somebody else, a rather cold, dismissive individual - not at all the sort of person you want to be talking to on the first day of your holidays.

There are two things that have stayed with me about this event.

READ MORE

The first is that the person who rang me could have waited until I came back - the call I was asked to make was far from essential.

The second is that the holiday mood I had been in before this little flurry of calls took place was severely dented. Indeed, it took a couple of days to shake off the emotional traces, so to speak, of dealing with the unpleasant individual I had been asked to ring. It would be too easy to blame the phone for this. The fault lay with me for answering it in the first place.

But I am not alone. Whenever I do a workshop on stress management, and whoever I do it with, the same old enemy keeps cropping up: the telephone and especially the mobile phone.

People complain of having their work and leisure time interrupted both by the sheer number of calls they receive and by calls from individuals who have no respect for anyone else's time.

Many people cannot even get their business done during the working day because of intrusive calls about things which do not actually need to be dealt with there and then.

Some complain about driving across the country and not even remembering the towns they passed through because they were so busy dealing with calls.

Both men and women are affected by this carry-on. I have a feeling, though, that men are affected somewhat more. Is there such a thing nowadays as a man in a pinstripe suit who does not have a phone glued to his ear?

I watched such a man once driving in heavy traffic through College Green, holding a phone to his ear with his right hand and gesticulating with the left hand to emphasise various points. Fortunately, the traffic was moving at about five miles an hour and his car appeared to have mastered the art of driving itself.

Mind you, it seems to me that women are more likely to be spotted driving around with those Bluetooth thingies attached to their ears which make them look as though they are refugees from a low budget, 1950s science fiction movie. I suppose the next thing will be pink thingies with fake diamonds especially for girls.

But boys and girls need to understand, for the sake of their sanity, that answering the phone is a choice. Phones - even mobile phones - cannot actually force you to answer them.

So here are a few tips gleaned from the telephone battleground that might just help you to get a life:

Ensure the names of people you do not want to talk to are in your mobile's phonebook. That way you will recognise who is calling and you can press the reject button.

Consider switching off the phone at certain times. It can be done, you know. People used to not have phones at all - not even landlines.

Get rid of that thing you stick in your ear so you can answer the phone in the car. When you are driving, drive. They can leave a message and you can get back to them.

You could actually disable your voicemail altogether. I know some very busy, effective and efficient people who have done so. They have not been arrested for crimes against technology. Actually they seemed quite pleased with themselves.

And for heaven's sake, don't answer the phone when you are standing in line at the airport waiting to check-in for your holiday flight.

Padraig O'Morain is a journalist and counsellor accredited by the Irish Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy.