That's men for you:Who suffers most when marriages break up, men or women? Recently published, long-term Canadian research suggests that when it comes to depression it is men who are most affected.
This may be because men are more likely than women to lose their social supports when their marriages end.
The research is derived from Canada's capital National Population Health Survey which tracked more than 7,000 people between 1994 and 2005.
All the respondents were in a relationship when they were first interviewed and all were depression-free at that time.
A decade later, 3 per cent of those who were still in a relationship had experienced depression. But 12 per cent of those whose relationships had ended had had at least one episode of depression.
This does not necessarily mean that 88 per cent of those whose relationships had broken up suffered no emotional pain. There are many kinds of emotional pain, and depression is just one of them.
Those men whose relationships had been ended by divorce or separation were six times more likely to have experienced depression than those who were still married. By contrast, divorced or separated women were 3.5 times more likely to have been depressed than those who were still married.
Why the better outcome for women? The researchers speculated that women are more likely than men to have friends to help them to get through the break-up. For men, their wife or partner is likely to be the main person who supports them through emotionally difficult events. Needless to say, the female partner is unlikely to still be playing that role when the relationship breaks up.
Reports on the research did not mention children, but the fact that the children almost always remain with their mother is bound to be a contributing element to male depression following relationship breakdown.
Children tend to come with their own social network attached due to the necessity to be in touch with other children's parents concerning school and extra-curricular activities.
To go from living in a household with a wife and children to living on your own is no easy thing, however conflicted the relationship may have been. Added to this are the conflicts which sometimes arise concerning access to children - all of this can make for a very painful experience in a relationship break-up.
The findings underline the importance of social support to us as human beings. In a world in which it is made ever easier to cut ourselves off from other people with our iPods and computers, it is very easy to undervalue the contribution that social support makes to our wellbeing.
There is evidence that a good social network can protect us against physical ill health, emotional problems and even conditions such as dementia. We don't necessarily have to be surrounded by people all the time to get these benefits but we do need to feel that we are part of a network of people who care about us and whom we care about - even if they exasperate us from time to time!
For people whose relationships have broken up, whether they are men or women, the social network assumes even greater importance. The tendency of many of us men to keep our feelings to ourselves probably does not serve us well at times like this.
That said, many men whose marriages have broken up will want to retreat for a while to lick their wounds - but it is very important indeed that they pick up the social threads again to avoid going into long-term isolation.
Similarly, if they are failing to pick up the social threads it is important that those who care about them should keep in touch with them. Equally, where a woman separates and is isolating herself it is important that her friends stay in contact with her.
At our core, we are social beings and this research certainly adds weight to the belief that in good times and bad, but especially in bad, we need other people.
Padraig O'Morain is the author of Like A Man - a guide to men's emotional wellbeing (Veritas). His blog is at www.justlikeaman.blogspot.com