The teenage years can be difficult to navigate for many young people and their parents. However, if you have Asperger's syndrome, it's even more complicated as the things that are challenging – such as reading body language, understanding sexual jokes and generally keeping up with peers – become part of everyday life.
Based in Brisbane, Australia, clinical psychologist Prof Tony Attwood is widely known for his writings and workshops with 40 years' professional experience and, with his wife, Sarah, over 30 years' co-rearing his son William, who struggles with life as an adult with Asperger's syndrome.
Speaking ahead of the Sensational Kids conference in Dublin this month, he says that while he is not keen to speak about his son, it does give him huge empathy with other families. “It is harder to be objective about one’s own family and I often ask myself whether it’s better for me to be the psychologist or the father to him?”
In his best known book on the subject, The Complete Guide to Asperger's Syndrome (Jessica Kingsley, 2006), Attwood writes: "I usually say to the child, 'Congratulations, you have Asperger's syndrome' and explain that this means he or she is not mad, bad or defective, but has a different way of thinking."
At the conference, which looked at how parents and teenagers with Asperger's can deal with adolescence, Attwood teased out what those with Asperger's find most challenging about adolescence. Things like dealing with the physical changes of puberty, working out what's funny or not in casual conversations and understanding the different cues for friendly or romantic relationships.
Major emotional challenges
“Adolescence is a tough time for Aspies [people with Asperger’s syndrome]. They can be bullied or teased for their intelligence and they have major emotional challenges and can be anxious around academic performance and social situations,” says Attwood.
“The dating game has the most subtle form of non-verbal communication, and teenagers with Asperger’s don’t pick up on cues or misinterpret cues.”
He suggests a few strategies. “It’s good to recruit one or two peers who will look after the person; someone who understands that he’s a nice guy but can be vulnerable or gullible and who could step in and help in certain situations.”
The issue is that it takes longer to process comments. “They can have an excellent sense of humour and might have a fantastic comment five seconds later but it’s too late then,” he says.
It’s also important to teach teenagers with Asperger’s the importance of context – and how one joke might be appropriate with peers in school but not funny to their grandma.
Pressures
The social and academic pressures can lead to mental health problems.
"Teenagers with Asperger's are very aware of being different and can become depressed. The depression can be related to emotional exhaustion from trying to fit in and be successful while also dealing with sensory sensitivities they might have (for example, to loud sharp noises or bright lights)," says Attwood, who finds cognitive behaviour therapy a useful tool in his Australian clinic.
Another strategy is to constructively use the special interest that many people with Asperger’s have. This can be anything from an exceptional ability in computer programming or gaming to a talent for drawing.
“Their specialist knowledge gives them a feeling of self-worth but it can become intoxicating so parents will have to ration things like time on computers when homework and chores are done.”
Social enterprises such as the Danish Specialisterne [The Specialists] have helped improve the work opportunities for some people with Asperger’s syndrome.
“Eleven people with Asperger’s have recently been employed to work alongside three guides in Brisbane to test software before it is installed in government departments,” says Attwood.
Specialisterne Ireland also assesses high-functioning people with autism spectrum disorder (ASD) to use their specialist skills in the workplace.
However, Attwood says the key to educational, training or work programmes is continued support. “The biggest problem nowadays is that people are expected to work in a team and people with ASD are not good at being part of a group.
"They need mentors in schools and workplaces who will teach them about the status quo, the dos and don'ts, the social hierarchy and social conventions."
See also mindsandhearts.net and tonyattwood.com.au
