Dáil Sketch: The term "political football" acquired new meaning on the first day of the Dáil's citizenship debate when Labour chose the Irish soccer team to illustrate the complexity of what it means to be Irish.
From the FAI's hall of fame Pat Rabbitte selected Steve Heighway, the Liverpool and Ireland winger who apparently had no Irish ancestors but, by happy chance, was born here.
Then there was John Aldridge and Andy Townsend, with a total of two Irish grandparents between them. And finally there was Paul McGrath, the "Black Pearl", born in London to an Irish mother.
Where, the Labour leader wondered, would the citizenship line be drawn following the proposed referendum?
Which of these Irish heroes would be caught offside?
Would we drop the "granny rule?" Or the accidental birth in Ireland? Or births abroad to lone Irish parents? At what point would the Minister for Justice, as the State's linesman, raise his flag?
Mr McDowell did not answer these questions during the acrimonious debate. But in fairness to him, he couldn't even finish his own speech so numerous were the interruptions as the Government and Labour benches harangued each other like rival fans at an Old Firm derby.
Not even the chair's decision to extend his speaking time by 12 minutes - "injury time" according to Emmet Stagg - was enough.
The Minister will have to chase the deficit when the debate's second leg begins today.
Whether the Government intended it or not, the issue is proving divisive. There was a marked contrast even between the two main Opposition parties, with Fine Gael TDs sitting quietly through the Labour heckling, like the VIP section at a football match during a Mexican wave.
Opposite them representation was reduced at one point to Mr McDowell and Liz O'Donnell, separated symbolically by the full width of the Government benches, like a political version of Damien Duff and Jesper Gronkjaer.
And there was an even more uneasy alliance in the distinguished visitors' gallery, where a British embassy official shared space with Gerry Adams.
The debate took place against the background of Mr McDowell's release of papers from his discussions with Dublin's big maternity hospitals. And while the Annals of the Three Masters did not clinch the case for a referendum, they did lend support to the Minister's claim that he was acting from "proper considerations": to prevent rather than provoke racism.
But when he defended his use- of the phrase "citizenship tourism", Joe Higgins bitterly recommended a tour of Saudi Arabia to reclaim Irish passports sold for investment.
The Minister's dependence on "anecdotal" evidence - his description - of abuse of the citizenship loophole was also attacked.
As the Opposition insisted the referendum's timing would ensure the race card's use by election canvassers, Pat Rabbitte quoted the Minister from a radio interview saying that the citizenship problem was obvious to anyone "with eyes to see".
The only thing eyesight could identify was "colour", Mr Rabbitte said, suggesting that in the debate over the Government's true intentions the eyes had it.
