If you've had a busy day footing turf or laying blocks, then you may just be in the mood for an "Elemis Sole Delight Foot Treatment and Hand Ritual". The 55-minute session, costing a mere €65, is on the menu of "Treatments for Men" at the spa in the luxurious Killarney Park Hotel.
The Kingdom's white-collar brigade hasn't been forgotten either and might fancy the "Gent's Executive Stress Relief". This cost €280 and lasts a phenomenal three hours and 25 minutes - almost as long as a business meeting or an agreeable round of golf.
Pampering is no longer a female preserve - because we're worth it too - and similar treatments are available up and down the country.
There was a minor kerfuffle in the British media when a nosy-parker MP, using the Freedom of Information Act, discovered that Tony Blair's make-up has cost £1,800 since 1997. But the controversy subsided when the corblimey brigade realised that the sum is terribly modest compared to what some other European leaders have reportedly splurged over the same period. The British prime minister would have very rouge cheeks indeed if he had spent as much as various of his EU counterparts.
Here in Ireland, ruddy males must have blanched at the news that blokeish Bertie Ahern spent more than €85,000 on make-up services in the past four years, at a rate of nearly €483 a week. But many Irishmen must shamelessly be following the leader, judging by the frequency of TV commercials for male "skin care" during sports programmes. Who would ever have predicted Nivea For Men popping up during coverage of GAA matches?
If you hear a man say that he had a skinful last night don't assume he was on the lash. He might very possibly have drenched his square jaw with Clinique's "Turnaround Lotion". Yes, a staple of the "Her's" medicine cabinet has now strayed into "His", with the launch of a male version by the US cosmetics maker. And if a receptionist points out a man to a white-coated beautician and says: "He's a full-back", it means he's in for dorsal depilation and is not necessarily a star of the Tyrone defence.
Back when metrosexuality was an affliction suffered by rabbits and BO was "a woman's problem", television advertising which targeted men was, well, pretty masculine. There was little time for the finer things in life. Men had tractors to drive, sheep to dip and straw to bale. Shoot-from-the hip commercials dealt with honest-to-God male pursuits: how to treat warble-fly in cattle, fertilise a field or put a tiger in your tank.
Product "celebrity" endorsements featured strapping farmers, who had won All-Ireland hurling medals, extolling miracle potions to staunch yellow-scour or stamp out hoose. In the herd, that is - not the team, though some of the selectors felt that the lads could have done with a dose after the holy show the previous Sunday in Thurles.
There were occasional hints of "softness". Truckers - "big, rich and thick" - were shown to enjoy Yorkie chocolate bars and an especially racy ad for an after-shave lotion called Denim showed a red-taloned hand sliding under a man's shirt - but the brazen hussy was stopped just in the nick of time. Whopping big razor blades, sharp enough to scythe barley and more than a match for even Mickey Harte-style Saturday night stubble, were also heavily promoted.
But as tick follows tock, advertising must keep up with the changing times, Now preening, overpaid Premiership footballers, or "girlie men," to borrow Mr Arnold Schwarzenegger's bon mot, have "difficult" hair and "sensitive" skin and advocate the use of after-shave lotion. On weekdays, if you don't mind. Wouldn't you miss the old Bruts? In the "lifestyle" profiles published by the more androgynous fashion magazines or Sunday "supplements", famous men are now frequently asked "Which moisturiser do you use?" rather than "Do you ever cut yourself shaving?"
Cork airport shopping recently featured a display of L'Oréal's "expert technology for everyman's skin". The company offers myriad "solutions" for "shiny or tired skin". "Expression wrinkles" (presumably caused by not keeping a straight face) should respond to "Wrinkle De-Crease Anti-Expression Wrinkles Moisturising Cream". And for that most alarming of male conditions - "loss of firmness" - you could try "Vita Lift".
For bad cases of Panda Eyes - yes, men can get them too, especially after a hard night's drinking - "Hydra Energetic Anti-Dark Circles Moisturising Eye Cream" is recommended.
Similar products, from a bewildering number of manufacturers, are on sale at pharmacies and department stores throughout the country. They range from Clarins for Men "Active Hand Care Réparateur", which has reassuring little pictograms of spanners on the packaging, to Biotherm's "Abdo Sculpt", a magical lotion which can apparently get rid of love handles.
If your skin has dried out, in the course of some manly task such as roof tiling, Decléor's facial oil - "Aromessence Homme" - may help. But for really hard cases, the one and only is rumoured to be "Ren Frankincense Repair Cream". Which, frankly, sounds like something you might use to replace the grouting.
And even if you find the prospect of shopping for such products toe-curlingly embarrassing, help is at hand. You need only put up with the shame once. A quick dab of Clinique For Men's "Non-Streak Bronzer" should hide those blushes on subsequent outings.