Sir, – It is somewhat unedifying a spectacle to us Catholics to see Irish Anglicans beating the lard out of each other in public. I understand that this type of literate bar fight was quite common in previous centuries.
That said, I have to confess to a degree of sympathy for those of our separate brethern who object to "polyester Protestants". The objectors could be described as "Basil Fawlty" Anglicans. Fawlty clearly didn't much like those chappies from Calais and beyond. Not all, but most of the "polyester Protestants" are lapsed Catholics. These lapsed Catholics may be subdivided into à la carte Catholics, and cart-before-the-horse Catholics.
Before the emergence of “polyester Protestants”, an old Church of Ireland lady confided to me that there was a sort of apartheid between Church of Ireland members whose ancestors have been in Ireland since before the Reformation, and those who came in after the Reformation, especially those of Cromwellian origin. Interestingly, the Irish-language poet, Dáibhidh Ó Bruadair (1625-1694), a Catholic, had a deep regard for the former, but couldn’t stand the latter.
I blame Fr Tony Flannery and the Association of Catholic Priests for causing much of the problem around "polyester Protestants" with which the more stake-in-the-country Anglicans have been plagued. If Fr Flannery would only hurry up and set up a Protestant denomination for the à la carte Catholics, and cart-before-the-horse Catholics, the problem would be largely solved. These dissenting Catholics are Protestants basically, but the more "Basil Fawlty" Anglicans of Ireland want nothing to do with them, obviously, as they lower the tone of the communion preferred by the stake-in-the-country Anglicans. If Fr Flannery could do the needful, the Olivia O'Learys of Ireland would have somewhere more welcoming to go on Sunday between Sunday Miscellany and The Marian Finucane Show. That would be a "win win" outcome.
Have the warring Anglicans thought of doing an anger-management course in Maynooth? Alternatively these crypto-Catholic Anglicans could petition Rome to set up an Anglican Ordinariate in Ireland – that is, a body that caters for cradle Anglicans who have come to realise that they now have more in common with Rome than with the cold house that the Anglican Communion has become for them. Home sweet Rome! Pax vobis. – Yours, etc,
SÉAMAS de BARRA,
Beaufort Downs,
Rathfarnham, Dublin 14.