Newton's Optic: Newton Emerson has a first encounter with the new Community Restorative Journalism scheme
'Dear Mr Emerson, Due to complaints we have received concerning several recent articles, you are hereby summoned to attend a hearing by your local Community Restorative Journalism group.
"As you are aware, the media community does not recognise the authority of the Press Complaints Commission. If you were not aware of this, you are aware of it now.
"Any attempt to contact the Press Complaints Commission regarding this letter will be viewed as anti-community and may only serve to compound the gravity of your offence.
"Participation in Community Restorative Journalism is entirely voluntary. Volunteers will visit your home shortly to ensure that you participate. Our process follows strict human rights guidelines laid down strictly by ourselves. You may choose to be accompanied by an editor, a publisher or any other person qualified to confirm your guilt.
"Please do not ask for a solicitor as a refusal often offends. Community Restorative Journalism brings victim and offender together shortly after we decide who is which. Having decided that you are the offender, we are pleased to offer you this valuable opportunity to make amends to your victim. Offer expires midnight. Conditions apply.
"Your punishment will include apologising for material you have already written, promising never to write anything similar again, submitting anything you do write to us for prior approval and standing in the town centre for several hours holding up a large sign that reads: 'Anti-community element'.
"You may also be asked to produce a longer self-criticism for future use. Copyright remains the property of Community Restorative Journalism Ltd or its parent company. All rights reserved. If you do not co-operate with your sentence, further Community Restorative Journalism may be necessary. This will involve rearranging your typeface, shooting off your Caps Lock and bringing forward your deadline. We trust that this conveys the seriousness of the situation.
"Should you wish to appeal this summons, please note that the following restrictions apply. You are not exempt from Community Restorative Journalism because you are middle-class. All journalists are middle-class. You are not exempt from Community Restorative Journalism because you are merely a columnist. The media community comprises everyone who falls within our definition of the media community, which now includes you by definition. Most importantly of all, you are not exempt from Community Restorative Journalism because you do not recognise our authority.
"Only we have the authority to recognise your authority not to recognise our authority. The decision of the judges is final and no further correspondence will be entered into. Your name may be published for advertising purposes. No legal contract is implied.
Finally, as you may also be aware, the British government has refused to fund Community Restorative Journalism due to our refusal to recognise the Press Complaints Commission.
"Consequently, you will be required to contribute toward the costs of the hearing. These costs include proof-reading your self- criticism, hiring an 'anti-community element' sign and paying the volunteers who will arrive at your home shortly and return to your home many times thereafter should that prove to be necessary.
"Please make an appropriate donation at the front desk or purchase 500 copies of An Phoblacht from your nearest advice centre. Your statutory rights are most definitely affected.
"Yours in struggle,
His Honour Detective Inspector Justice Gerry Adams QC."