Ivan Yates is known for many things, but changing nappies is not one of them. And for good reason. In fact, he reckons the number of nappies he’s changed is probably in the single digits, and he’s unapologetic for it. After all “they are disgusting”, he explains, and changing them is above his “pay grade” he feels.
In this episode of Conversations with Parents, the broadcaster, podcaster and former Minister for Agriculture sits down with Jen Hogan and discusses his old school approach to fatherhood. He shares how learned helplessness has served him well when it came to taking care of children. Does he regret leaving it all to his wife Deirdre, who gave up her career as a teacher to raise the couple’s four children? Well, he answers that too.
Ivan is thoughtful and reflective as he discusses his own experience of childhood and the impact that a lack of emotional warmth had on him, both personally and professionally. He speaks about how this has shaped his own interactions with his children.
“I was absolutely determined to do some things [differently] to my parents. I would always tell [my children] that I loved them and they would be in no doubt about that. The whole lack of affection thing from my parents’ generation, I thought, was a huge mistake.”
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His children are part of the “snowflake generation”, Ivan says and the sort of things they consider to be PC (politically correct), and he considers to be PC, are completely different, he explains. Ivan’s opinions, shared in the public domain, aren’t always well received, and his own children sometimes have difficulties with the things their father says, so how does he cope with this? He explains his very definite views on this, on the podcast.
He has lots of thoughts on modern parenting and in particular the move from one generation’s “supreme authority” approach, to a situation where “everything is negotiation”.
“The kid is the boss” Ivan observes, something he finds “quite shocking”. The old school dad tells us exactly what he thinks about it all. And shares his thoughts on when parenting gets better, and his highs and lows of fatherhood.
You can listen to Ivan’s chat with Jen on the player above, or wherever you get your podcasts.
