Victoria Smurfit: ‘Postpartum depression had me manically sobbing in the middle of Ranelagh’

The Hollywood actor on adversity, hope and the battle to save her daughter's sight

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Victoria Smurfit: ‘On Deadly Cuts there was a lot of female energy, which made it an extremely comfortable place to be.’ Photograph: Gregg DeGuire/Getty
Victoria Smurfit: ‘On Deadly Cuts there was a lot of female energy, which made it an extremely comfortable place to be.’ Photograph: Gregg DeGuire/Getty

We all know that feeling of cringe, when you’re watching a movie or a series with your parents and a sex scene comes on. But what’s it like when your mother is actually in the sex scene? In this episode of Conversations with Parents, Hollywood actor Victoria Smurfit tells Jen Hogan how her children are coping with their mother’s steamy new role in the TV adaptation of Jilly Cooper’s Rivals. And she shares why she’s relieved none of her children seem likely to follow her into acting.

Victoria lives in London now, having for a time lived in LA. And while many of us have, from afar, and in horror, watched the terror of American school shootings on the television, she experienced that fear firsthand, when a text arrived from her daughter to say her school was on lockdown due to a shooter. She shares her experience, and her reaction to receiving the terrifying text, with Jen.

Plus, she talks how she felt when she learned her eldest daughter, Evie, had a degenerative eye disease, Stargardt macular dystrophy “When you find out that your kid has this condition, or any condition, as a parent you just go ‘wait. Okay so how do I fix it? What do I do?... And they say, nothing’. That is pretty extraordinary”. And she explains why hope is now a real part of their lives once again.

Victoria Smurfit: ‘Postnatal depression is very real. You feel crazy’Opens in new window ]

After the birth of her third child, Flynn, Victoria had postnatal depression. She discusses sobbing on the street in Ranelagh, and the realisation that something was very wrong. “I was aware something was very wrong when I was in the hallway staring at the back of the hall door going ‘I could just walk out. Someone would find them. They’d be okay. I could just leave’.”

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Victoria also talks about what it’s like to be a stepmother; why she believes micromanagement is “one of the worst things you can do” when it comes to parenting; and she shares how she’s coping now that her eldest child has flown the nest.

Rivals: The thrusting bum is intercut with spurting soap and overflowing champagne. We are in safe, if filthy, handsOpens in new window ]

Listen to this episode of Conversations with Parents on the player above, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Rivals is out now on Disney+.

Jen Hogan

Jen Hogan

Jen Hogan, a contributor to The Irish Times, writes about health and family