“Women who don’t have children, often are trying to live the lives that their mothers couldn’t live”, says Helen Taylor.
An academic, feminist and author of Childless by Choice: The Meaning & Legacy of a Childfree Life, Taylor reflects on the decision of being childfree on this week’s episode of the Women’s Podcast.
Part of the inspiration to be child free came from her own mother encouraging her not to have children.
“Like many women of that generation, my mother was expected to marry and have children. I don’t think she wanted to. She was a very clever girl”.
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“What I remember of childhood was my mother always being tired, always having to cook and wash up. She was always doing domestic labour and I remember thinking, ‘I don’t want that for myself.’”.
However, in 1967 when the author was a student, she fell pregnant.
“It was a classic thing. It was the first time we’d had sex and we weren’t very good with contraceptives. And I was totally stunned at this pregnancy”.
She was advised by the nurse in the student health centre to tell the doctor “you’ll kill yourself if you don’t get an abortion”.
Taylor had to ask her parents for permission for the procedure because she was under 21 at the time. It was through this incident that she discovered that her mother had also had an abortion, but an illegal one, “which had clearly distressed her enormously,” says Taylor.
In this nuanced interview, the feminist author discusses the highs and lows of being child free, and although she has some regrets, she wouldn’t change her decision.
“I realise that I have to live with regrets, but I do live with a positive sense that I’m a very lucky woman. I don’t feel in any way that I have lost out in life”.
You can listen back to this episode in the player above or wherever you get your podcasts.
