Vote Green for another swords and sandals epic on Merrion Street.
Rodericus Dubwestium gave it his Maximus for the last 4½ years. Left everything behind on the sand by the end of the 33rd Dáil.
Dragged out of Government Buildings by the heels — a task enthusiastically conducted by legions of backbenchers from his erstwhile Coalition partners.
“We punch above our weight,” Deputy Dubwestium declared at the launch of his party’s manifesto on Tuesday. Proud to say he fought like a lion with Fine Gael and Fianna Fáil throughout his time at the Cabinet table in the face of constant hostility and antagonism.
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It was tough in the arena. He said before the Dáil was dissolved that the plucky Greens “dealt with sniping every day”.
But it was worth it because out of this adversity, an election slogan was born.
“Greens Deliver.”
Just how difficult was it, Rodericus?
“There are always going to be tensions and there were often conflicts, yeah. But we resolved those conflicts and I think, that’s ultimately what the success of this Government has been.”
He sees hard-earned victories at the end of a bruising journey through the party’s key policy points. Many seemingly implemented while his Coalition partners held their noble noses and conspired behind his back.
But that was only the start. Rodericus now wants the electorate’s permission to serve another term with his tormentors if, as the perceived wisdom has it, Fianna Fáil and Fine Gael are returned to power.
Is there no end to his courage? It’s epic.
This is why the Greens latest manifesto is called “Towards 2030 — a decade of change, Volume II”.
Much Done, More to Do didn’t cut the mustard.
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One reporter was struck by the somewhat grandiose addition of Volume II to the title, reminding the party leader of the “well-known cliche in movie making that sequels are generally worse than the original”.
Deputy leader Róisín Garvey wasn’t going to let that pass, predicting that the Greens’ equivalent of the difficult second album would absolutely pass muster.
“I think Paul Mescal is going to be a better sequel to Gladiator,” opined the candidate for Clare, glancing across at a confused-looking Rodericus. He wasn’t the only one.
“So maybe you might end up eating your words there,” she told the man from Raidió na Gaeltachta.
Was Róisín comparing the outgoing TD for Dubwestium to Mescal, who plays Lucius in Gladiator II? And does this mean that Fine Gael and Fianna Fáil had to contend with his version of Russell Crowe’s Maximus for the last four years?
You wouldn’t think it, looking at mild-mannered Rod.
A different sequel might have been more apt.
The voice of Waterford’s Marc Ó Cathasaigh rose from the sidelines: “The Godfather, Part II”.
Poor Rodericus didn’t know where this was going, but Senator Garvey was on a roll on the Volume II front.
It is crucially important for the Green Party to be given a sequel because there is no denying that the climate is changing. “It’s not that we want a sequel. We need a sequel,” she explained.
Rodericus believes the party is in with a good chance of going into government again, despite the less than collegiate remarks from its former colleagues about Green Party policies. People in Fine Gael and Fianna Fáil are putting it about that they don’t want to go back into another gladiatorial arrangement.
But, if he gets back in, Rodericus is prepared to get stuck into formation negotiations for the greater good of the planet and for people in far-flung rural outposts who need more local-link buses to bring them to bingo of an evening.
The Greens are rightly proud of the growing network of these buses around the country. Party chairwoman Senator Pauline O’Reilly spoke in glowing terms of “the tapestry of public transport”.
This has changed people’s lives for the better. “It’s not just for old people going to the bingo. It’s for young people going out for pints,” she said, outrageously ignoring bibulous pensioners and abstemious millennials.
When the dust clears after polling day on November 29th, Rodericus intends to be there to continue the good fight for climate change.
“First of all, I haven’t heard anybody rule us out.”
And even if this is the case, they have recycled that old chant from the terraces of Millwall FC for the Volume II era: “No one likes us, we don’t care.”
The Social Democrats launched their election campaign a short fold-up bicycle ride away (there were four of them under the coat rack at the Greens event) in the beautifully restored headquarters of the Royal Institute of the Architects of Ireland in Merrion Square.
The Soc Dems also want to be in with a shout at government but only if prospective senior partners agree to their “deal-breaker” red-line issues.
The party’s election slogan is “For the Future”. Given that they are prepared to go into power and their leader Holly Cairns is expecting her first baby on November 22nd, they could also get away with “Any Day Now”.
This was just an opener for the Social Democrats. The manifesto proper will be launched on another day.
Holly talks tough on “driving a hard bargain” with any party which wants to rely on their support. “We are not going into government to make up the numbers, we are going into government to make a difference.”
That’s what they all say.
But Deputy Cairns stresses her party will make a decision based on their deal-breakers — one of them is a commitment on the construction of 50,000 affordable houses.
“We have the people. We have the policy. What we need now is support from the public,” said Holly.
[ Opposition rounds on ‘arrogant’ Coalition duo Fianna Fáil and Fine GaelOpens in new window ]
She may have the people, but not all of them. Founder members Catherine Murphy and Róisín Shortall have retired from national politics although they are actively involved in the campaign. Róisín is managing housing expert Rory Hearne’s campaign in her old constituency of Dublin North-West.
The election also heralds the retirement from public life of Catherine’s familiar Soc Dems Purple belted Libra Designs coat, which she officially premiered when the party was launched in 2015. She bought it some years early when she first ran as an Independent and was advised to pick a statement colour to wear during her campaign.
“I chose purple, or amethyst really, because amethyst and green was the colour worn by the suffragettes. That was the logic and the coat has been on a lot of doorsteps since then.”
She rolls it out at election time and special party events. “Then I tend to wash it and put it away until the next time. But I won’t put it in cold storage just yet. I’ve still a lot of canvassing to do and then it might get a run out in the presidential election too.”
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