Mooney Goes Wild should do a programme from Leinster House.
For starters, there is the squawking and squealing Dáil Chorus, which never happens too early in the morning and runs all through the year with long breaks for the holidays.
And then there’s the wildlife.
Rats. Mice. Inside and out.
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Slugs in the basement. Bluebottle infestations. Incontinent pigeons. Black ants. Randy moths. Foxes breaking and entering.
And don’t mention the dive-bombing seagulls snatching grub from unwitting snackers on the plinth.
Here’s the latest on the wildlife front. It seems the seagulls are upping their game and launching a ground war to go with the usual aerial offensive. Their target is Government Buildings.
From the Taoiseach down, nobody is safe. The corridors of power could be destroyed this weekend.
Maintenance sent an email to all occupants yesterday explaining the situation.
“As we are experiencing some (rare, much-needed and well deserved!) warm weather at the moment, a lot of windows in the building are open during the day.
“Please ensure that any windows you may have opened during the day are closed before you leave in the evening, including any windows on the corridors.
“Your co-operation is much appreciated as we have had a few seagulls visiting!”
Apparently it has been like Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds on Merrion Street since the sun started to shine with seagulls ducking in through the open windows once people go home and making themselves at home.
Eating anything they can find and pooing with abandon. The chequerboard ministerial corridor will be ruined entirely.
It couldn’t be that bad?
A bird fancier tells us: “If they don’t close those windows they’ll come in on Monday morning and it’ll be like Dumbo the Elephant was flying around the place all weekend”.
Who has the knives out for Jim O’Callaghan?
Is everything all right, Jim?
Justice has always been considered a tough ministerial gig.
But things must be very bad in the St Stephen’s Green HQ if Jim O’Callaghan‘s interesting aside in the Dáil on Thursday is anything to go by.
During questions on Justice, Gary Gannon of the Soc Dems asked the Minister what he intends to do to alleviate “the worsening crisis of prison overcrowding, where over 350 people are reportedly sleeping on floors and prison numbers are at a record high”.
Jim began by saying he has already embarked on a prison visiting programme.
“Since I’ve been made Minister I’ve been to Cork Prison, I’ve been to Cloverhill and I’m going to another prison on Monday,” he revealed.
“I intend to visit every prison – if I’m lucky enough to survive in office for a sufficient period of time...”
What? Sufficient period of time?
There are 12 active prisons in the country – 10 traditional ‘closed’ prisons and two ‘open’ centres. Once he completes his next visit on Monday, Minister O’Callaghan will have four tours under his belt with just eight more prisons to go.
That shouldn’t take him too long. At the rate he’s going he might even achieve the full set before the summer recess.
If he’s lucky enough to survive, that is.
Who has the knives out for poor Jim? Is the Coalition at breaking point already? Is there something we should know?
The Government wasn’t formed until late in January. It’s a bit early for the Minister for Justice and Insecurity to be talking like that.
Social Democrats rejig senior roles
The Leinster House rumour mill cranked into action on Thursday with rumblings about big changes afoot in the Social Democrats.
Sinéad Gibney, the party’s then spokesperson on foreign affairs, was mentioned in dispatches. She recently refused to say whether she would remain in the parliamentary party if the suspended TD Eoin Hayes was readmitted.
The Dublin Bay South TD was suspended indefinitely for misleading the party over when he sold his shares in a firm which supplies the Israeli military.
The rumour was unfounded. Sinéad was not leaving the party nor was Eoin returning – at least, not yet.
In a somewhat less dramatic development, the Soc Dems announced their deputy for Dublin Rathdown was being replaced as spokesperson on foreign affairs by Senator Patricia Stephenson in a rejigging of senior roles.
Sinead is now spokesperson on enterprise, trade and rmployment; arts, media, communications and culture; and efence.
She later said: “I know that Gaza in particular is a hugely important topic for everybody right now, so it is important to say this is not going to stop me or any other member of the parliamentary party continuing to work on Gaza and hold this Government to account on its inaction.”
The week before, when still wearing her Foreign Affairs hat, Sinéad passionately called on the Government to use its position within the European Union to persuade Europe to finally stand up to Israel as it continues its monstrous onslaught on the people of Gaza.
As a mere Opposition TD, Sinéad does not have the power to do this. “All we can do is use the parliamentary tools that are available to us. We will continue to raise this again, and again and again. I will continue to attend protests. I’ll keep getting my nails done with the Palestinian flag.”
That’s one way of nailing your colours to the mast.
At the news of Sinéad’s replacement, Alan Shatter, the former Fine Gael minister for justice and diehard defender of Israel, was out of the starting stalls as soon as he could straighten his blinkers.
“The Social Democrats should clarify whether regularly painting their nails with the Palestinian flag remains the party’s foreign policy priority or whether its now abandoned,” he gleefully tweeted.
Apart from providing social media fodder to the former minister for justice, Sinéad’s tone-deaf nail art comment – given the unfolding catastrophe in Gaza – raised eyebrows among politicians in Leinster House.
We hear some of them are now calling her ‘Nailson Mandela’.
Simon Harris surprises Seán Kyne with a cake for a roundy birthday
Happy birthday to Senator Seén Kyne, Fine Gael’s leader in the Seanad.
The former TD for Galway West, who lost his seat in 2020 and is in his second term in the Upper House, was 50 yesterday.
On Wednesday, party leader Simon Harris surprised him in Leinster House with a birthday cake. It’s a miracle the smoke detectors didn’t go off with the amount of candles on his Colin the Caterpillar.
Seán was chairing a meeting of senators in the party rooms when Simon burst through the door with Colin the Caterpillar cake ablaze on a big plate.
He hadn’t been expecting the Tánaiste and Minister for Foreign Affairs – who has a hectic travel schedule at the moment – to turn up out of the blue like that. As his colleagues burst into a chorus of ‘Happy Birthday’, the red-faced and mortified senator didn’t know where to look.
McEntee not taxed by questions on inheritance tax
Independent Ireland TD Ken O’Flynn is among a number of TDs and senators who have been asking the Government to reform the inheritance tax system so people who don’t have children can pass on the same tax-free amount to their loved ones as parents are allowed to leave to their children.
“Is it equitable that parents like yourself, Minister, with two children, can leave up to €800,000 tax free” he asked Minister for Education Helen McEntee, who was standing in for the Tánaiste at Leaders’ Questions on Thursday, “where people like myself with no children ... can [only] leave €80,000 tax free to loved ones? That’s 10 times less. The system penalises the childless citizen of this country for the simple fact that they do not or perhaps cannot have children.”
At present, parents and some grandparents can pass on €400,000 to a child tax free.
Other relatives can leave someone €40,000 tax free. For everyone else the limit is €20,000.
The Minister gave a sympathetic but non-committal reply. “As a Government, we have made changes to our inheritance tax system over the last number of years. I appreciate it does not apply to the scenarios you’re referencing…”
The State is telling many thousands of childless people they “are less deserving and their relationships with their niece, nephew, siblings or lifelong friends simply do not count” argued the TD for Cork North Central.
He gave a striking example of the unfairness of the measure: “If I leave all my money to the dog’s home, the dog’s home pays absolutely zero tax. So therefore, the chihuahua has more rights in this country than the childless citizen or my niece or my nephew.”
He got another woolly response.
“This is about all of us collectively looking at our rules and how we can make them more equitable, fairer and how we apply them equally. We have to do so, however, within the parameters and contexts available to us. I am very aware of this and I am sure the Minister is open to doing that.”
Meaningless dogswallop, as the chihuahua might say.
No-show from the Others on union recognition Bill
On Wednesday, the Dáil had a lively discussion on People Before Profit‘s Union Recognition Bill.
Concluding the debate, PBP-Solidarity’s Paul Murphy began by noting that it was ending 10 minutes ahead of time.
“It’s because the Lowry group, who fought so hard to get their time to speak on these matters, don’t presumably consider it important to come and speak about trade union rights, or maybe they are embarrassed because they are going to vote against trade union rights later on today.”
The final Opposition speaking slot was for speakers from the “Others” group. Nobody showed up.
We checked the result of that night’s vote.
The Coalition voted against the Bill.
The combined Opposition – parties and independents – supported it.
Two of the three members of the Lowry Udders without Government jobs – Barry Heneghan and Gillian Toole, voted down the Bill to allow trade union recognition in workplaces.
Michael Lowry didn’t vote. Danny Healy-Rae didn’t vote either.
Of the two non-Government supporting independents who are also in the Udders category, Mattie McGrath didn’t vote and Offaly’s Carol Nolan voted in favour with the Opposition.
