Sports and Culture Minister Patrick O’Donovan had a very lively week.
It opened on a high note last weekend when he officially unveiled Dundalk United’s new astro turf pitch and floodlights in Oriel Park.
His department gave half a million euro towards the stadium’s redevelopment.
But to his utter disgust, within 20 minutes of the formal opening ceremony the place “was on fire” and a few days later he also combusted during a rollicking interview with RTÉ’s David McCullagh, adding significantly to the gaiety of the nation.
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Early into the Louth derby between Dundalk and Drogheda, some of the travelling Boyneside fans lobbed volleys of flares on to the pristine surface, causing more than €70,000 worth of damage.
Patrick was incandescent.
By the end of the match “the pitch looked like it was pock-ridden with badger holes”, he declared. “I mean, I saw it myself, it was like an air raid.”
Some people thought what happened was hilarious, but “if a woman’s hair had been set on fire and she was burnt within an inch of her life we’d have a different conversation this morning”.
The Minister was taking it very personally.
Had someone stolen Patrick’s First Holy Communion money (it’s widely believed he still has it) and then stumbled upon the stash he squirrelled away after his Confirmation, he couldn’t have been more annoyed.
“One thing’s for certain,” he fumed. “I won’t be paying for the damage.”
Then he caused consternation by threatening to suspend State funding for astro pitches until this “gougerism and tuggery” is seriously tackled by the clubs and the FAI.
Tuggery. Pure tuggery.
On Wednesday, Patrick set the airwaves on fire again, this time during an interview on Limerick Today with Joe Nash.
He was very keen to talk about the plan to open a permanent Limerick outpost of the National Museum of Ireland which will celebrate and tell the stories of Irish women through the ages. It will be housed in a €30 million exhibition space which local billionaire JP McManus wants to gift to the State.
“We’re not talking about people who broke the glass ceiling; we’re talking about the people who were kept under the glass ceiling for decades,” he quivered as the feminist awakening of Patrick O’Donovan flowered live on the local radio.
He said the entire Government agrees that “we should have some space to celebrate Irish women”.
The venue in question used to be home to the International Rugby Experience. Many women have stories to tell about their international rugby experiences, but they would prefer not to remember them, let alone put them in a museum.
Patrick even teased listeners about an exhibition he has in mind “which will be massively exciting for Limerick and for Ireland” but he didn’t elaborate.
“My focus now is to turn this world facility, which has lain idle for the last number of months, into a major visitor attraction under the auspices of my department, and that’s my focus,” he told Joe Nash.
They must be absolutely thrilled above in the National Museum.
Joe kept asking questions about specific details of the new project.
“Joe, no one would have expected yesterday that we would be at this stage,” sulked the Minister, refusing to “put any time frames out, other than to say the train left the station yesterday ... It’ll be opened when it’s opened.”
But Joe kept probing, asking twice if the Ardagh Chalice will be returned to the county for display.
Look, huffed Patrick, it’s primarily going to be about the women.
And will local people staff the museum? Will it have a local manager?
From tuggery and badger holes in Dundalk to radio tuggery and too much badgering in Limerick.
“Jaaysus, Joe,” replied the Minister for Culture, “You’re really tearing the arse out of it now.”
Triple crowned
A triple slam of victories against the old enemy on the rugby pitch last weekend when Ireland trounced England in the Six Nations championship, the under-20s did likewise in their encounter, and the Oireachtas rugby team saw off their Westminster counterparts with a resounding win in East London on the eve of the big match.
There were very few politicians in the Irish selection as some of the usual stalwarts couldn’t make it to London for the Friday night clash.
Minister of State Neale Richmond, a mainstay of the team, has handed the captain’s armband to his Fine Gael colleague, Senator Garret Ahearn. Neale couldn’t tog out last week as he was on Government business in Uganda.
The Houses of the Oireachtas team beat a selection from the Lords and the Commons with a handsome 17-0 scoreline.
Man of the match was the Dáil’s new deputy head usher, James Smyth, who scored the visitors’ final try. A sturdy prop, Captain Ahearn said his try was similar to Jamie Heaslip’s famous one when he fell over the line at the end of a lengthy string of moves.
James was presented with his award (a bottle of House of Commons port) at a reception afterwards in the Irish embassy. Taoiseach Micheál Martin, who was over for an engagement at Cambridge University, popped in to offer his congratulations.
Fianna Fáil TD for Offaly Tony McCormack also lined out along with Independent TD Barry Heneghan and former senator John McGahon. Former FG TD Alan Farrell was the kit man.
As the team was missing a few players, Barry asked some of his mates who work in London to pitch in. His friend Cian Walsh, a serious club player, was among those who answered the call.
He ended up with a broken leg.
McEntee’s military makeover
The Minister for Defence wants to civilise all the savages in the Defence Forces with a new “civilisation” policy and has ordered the top brass to tell her by July how this mammoth task will be achieved.
July, of course, is when Ireland takes over the EU presidency and, above all else, the number one objective in Merrion Street is to ensure that we don’t make a holy show of ourselves in front of the visiting bigwigs during our prestigious six-month stint at the helm.
Helen McEntee revealed her daring makeover for the military in a written answer this week to Sinn Féin’s Darren O’Rourke, who asked what efforts are being made to increase numbers and strengthen our Defence Forces.
In the course of a detailed reply, the Minister said it was very positive to see interest growing in Defence Forces careers, with a total of 16,510 applications received last year.
There are special measures in place to beef up the numbers.
“One of the key actions I specified in the recently published strategic framework, was the need for the Defence Forces to submit a civilisation strategy for my approval no later than July this year,” she says in her reply to her Meath East constituency colleague.
“The civilisation strategy will identify the roles and approach to significantly increase the scale and numbers of civilians working within our Defence Forces to support our Defence Forces personnel carrying out military tasks.”
[ Ireland signs agreement with France for joint military training and intel sharingOpens in new window ]
Sources within Fine Gael tell us that if their Minister’s “civilisation strategy” is a success the plan is to roll out the template in selected areas, beginning with Coalition partners Fianna Fáil.
But it’s all very hush-hush at the moment.
Some of the eagle-eyed anoraks in Leinster House who spotted the low-key launch of this interesting strategy wonder if its title is a typo (referring to McEntee as Minister Malaprop), but others point to controversies involving the Defence Forces in recent years and are not so sure.
So just five months to complete Operation Civilisation Strategy, by which time the Government hopes our national defences will be fortified sufficiently to cope with the EU presidency and the increasing possibility of a September visit by US president Donald Trump in the middle of it.
His family-owned Doonbeg golf course is hosting this year’s Irish Open Golf Championship.
The US ambassador to Ireland, Edward Walsh, was dropping heavy hints this week about his golfing buddy Donald decamping to Co Clare for the championship.
“We do have a potential presidential visit at the Irish Open in September,” Walsh told an American Chamber of Commerce Ireland event in Dublin on Thursday.
And at a second event organised by the Irish US Alumni Association held in the Merrion Square HQ of Notre Dame University, the ambassador didn’t rush to dampen speculation that his close friend will jet into the west of Ireland to watch the action.
Irish-American businessman Walsh is a member of the Trump National Golf Club at Bedminster, New Jersey.
And speaking of New Jersey, the ambassador – who has family connections to the Banner county, was presented with a new Clare jersey by the Alumni Association. The number on the back marks this year’s 250th anniversary of American Independence.
SNA snafu
At a crisis meeting late on Monday night, in the teeth of a ferocious public backlash, Government leaders did a screeching U-turn on the plan to change the way special needs assistants (SNAs) are allocated to schools.
The climbdown gave some respite to Coalition TDs under heavy fire in their constituencies from worried teachers and parents.
Among those welcoming the statement with a pre-midnight online post was Emer Higgins, Minister of State at the Department of Children, Disability and Equality.
It couldn’t have come at a better time for the Fine Gael deputy as she was visiting a special school in her Dublin Mid-West constituency the following day and at least all that SNA unpleasantness would be out of the way for the foreseeable.
Afterwards, Emer put up a lovely snap of her visit to Lucan Community Special School, thereby bagging herself the title of Most Tone Deaf Ministerial Photo Op of the Week.
“It’s fantastic to see this wonderful special school up and running, with 30 students already thriving in a supportive and nurturing environment,” she wrote, describing the dedication of the principal and her team as “truly inspiring”.
Which is more than can be said for the Minister.
The online response was far from positive. Here’s a few of the comments..
David writes: “As a parent of one of the 30 children I think it would have been far more responsible of you to post this when the school is properly staffed and the children can attend the hours they are entitled to. Please be more thoughtful with your posts in future.”
Anita: “My son goes here. The school needs more staff can this be sorted?? The kids are on reduced hrs since starting they have not done a full day. So so unfair ...”
Pamela: “It will be lovely if children could attend for a full day Emer Higgins TD. Forced reduced days against parent’s wishes is not best practice or in line with TUSLA policies. This school needs MORE SNAs now!!!”
Marley: “Have the kids even had a full day yet?”
Goggi: “Minister, I’m sure after visiting the school you are aware that every single child enrolled in Lucan Community Special School is being sent home at 12pm because the school does not yet have the staffing and resources it needs ... firstly ensure that Lucan Community Special School have the resources and staffing they need for the children to attend a full day of school.
Then post the celebratory photos.”
Good advice there.
