What a week.
What a time to be alive!
What will we do when it’s over?
What will we talk about?
Any chance of commissioning another series?
Yes, it was another week of high drama from the RTÉ payments scandal.
The latest meeting of the media committee was a cracker, helped in no small way by Senator Timmy Dooley’s stunning intervention in the closing seconds of the first half.
Then a slow burn for everyone to absorb it all before: BOOM!
Timmy’s question proved the catalyst in outing the RTÉ staff member who had been driving a car “on loan” from Renault for the last five years.
Other names were being floated around but the nation’s jaw dropped when beloved national treasure Marty Morrissey emerged from the mists with his hands up and a textbook example of how to draft the accompanying statement.
Third-party Marty. (It was an “ad hoc” private arrangement, nothing to do with his employers.)
Not Marty. We were distraught.
It was like clubbing a lovely baby seal with shiny, dark, curly hair.
What a way to finish a exhilarating week.
“On TV and the radio and in every public bar/The burning question of the day is Morrissey’s motorcar.”
And yet. And yet it wasn’t...
Here’s some hot takes from a bonkers week.
Timmy’s handbrake turn.
Fianna Fáil senator Timmy Dooley was the envy of his RTÉ soundbite-hunting colleagues on Wednesday, winning the media committee chase with one final question for the acting director general before the “comfort break”.
Adrian Lynch had told him earlier about the unnamed staffer with the borrowed car.
“That car that was on loan for five years. Do you know when that was returned?”
Adrian leaned into the microphone. “Yesterday,” he declared, to gasps of disbelief.
Timmy had nailed his moment.
He looked suitably astonished. “Jeez. Okay. Thanks for that.”
The former TD for Clare was well pleased with himself and he basked in the plaudits of his fellow politicians for most of the next day. And then Marty, his friend and supporter, made his admission. He was the star with the car.
The sudden screech of brakes could be heard from Leinster House to Miltown Malbay as Timmy did a reverse turn and went into survival mode. Marty is a god in Clare. What had he done?
He landed out on VMTV’s Tonight Show on Thursday night in a terrible state altogether.
Sure wasn’t his question to do with someone else entirely and Marty’s arrangements were neither here nor there?
You could smell the fear as far away as Quilty.
“I think he has been thrown under the bus to some extent by RTÉ,” trembled Timmy. “Who among us hasn’t been unwise on occasion?”
On Friday morning he back-pedalled all the way to Morning Ireland because his reverse thrusters had burned out. And he begged people to understand that his questions were to do with another party, not the Marty party.
It must be said that his erstwhile backslappers in his own party and beyond are revelling in Timmy’s discomfort.
“If he did a 180 turn like that on a public road he’d be locked up,” said one.
Coiffured for the cameras
One of the standout performers at the committee was Fine Gael’s Brendan Griffin, who doesn’t even have to impress because he is standing down at the next election. The Kerry TD made great inroads on the flip-flop and balloons aspect of the story, drawing quiet oohs and aahs from his audience.
We noted at the break, just after the revelation about the Renault on long-term loan, that the members of the committee looked particularly spruce and well-groomed for their televised meeting. And we complimented Brendan on his haircut.
“Oh, no. It’s not mine. I only borrowed it. I’ve got to give it back in five years.”
John Delaney who?
There was a large turnout of politicians at Farmleigh on Tuesday night for a farewell reception for the Ireland women’s football team before the women left for the World Cup in Australia. The media committee members were there (as their brief includes sport) limbering up for their date the next day with RTÉ, as was Minister for Sport Catherine Martin.
And the big joke doing the rounds was the fact that everyone was praising the FAI and giving out about RTÉ. Former FAI boss John Delaney appeared before an Oireachtas committee to explain his stewardship of the association and it was deemed one of the worst performances ever, before RTÉ’s executives swooped in to challenge him for the title.
Savaged by Sammy Sausages
Toy Show – the Musical was an unmitigated commercial disaster for Montrose. Rory Coveney, brother of Simon who recused himself from Cabinet this week whenever the RTÉ debacle came up, was the man behind it. It was bad enough for him to be hauled over the coals by the TDs and senators, but the show and RTÉ’s hubris in putting it on in the first place was brilliantly and deservedly torn to shreds by Alan Hughes, long-time producer of first-class traditional panto who had enough on his plate during a post-Covid Christmas without the State-financed big guns muscling in.
Savaged by Sammy Sausages. Ouch!
Best friends, friends forever
Incoming RTÉ director general Kevin Bakhurst (he starts on Monday) is best buddies with Marty Morrissey. When the Cambridge-educated media man arrived in RTÉ as head of news back in the day, Marty was his touchstone in all matters Irish.
And when he left in 2016, Marty organised his party.
The extremely likable Morrissey was known in broadcasting circles as Kevin’s “cultural attache”. He introduced him to Gaelic games and the ex-BBC man is now a huge fan. In an interview before he left Ireland after losing out to Dee Forbes for the big job, he described travelling to all parts of the country with Marty and he was a frequent visitor to his home village of Quilty in Clare.
“Marty is a wonderful friend,” he told Mary Carr in the Irish Daily Mail.
So many wonderful trips to the likes of the Willie Clancy Summer School and countless GAA matches. But that was before Marty got the Renault. He must have been driven around in the Beemer.
With his bestie now on board, RTÉ might finally bring the wildly successful Marty Party show to our screens.
Minister sets up war room in advance of Operation Saving Private Ryan
They don’t do things by half in the Department of Tourism, Sport, Arts, Media and sundry other portfolios. Politicians and hacks have been amused to hear that one particularly gung-ho member of Catherine Martin’s gang (who may have watched too many episodes of The West Wing) has set up a “war room” to deal with the ongoing very-high-profile RTÉ controversy.
“They think they’re masterminding the D-Day landings” snorted a political veteran of one scandal too many. Perhaps each outing by the Minister is given a different code name: Omaha, Utah, Sword, Juno…
Still, the Minister is going well in front of the media at this fraught time. So maybe there is some merit to Catherine’s war room.
Black holes and bottomless pits in Leinster House
Guess what was going on in the audiovisual room adjacent to the Leinster House committee rooms as the witnesses were assembling for the media committee hearing?
A presentation about black holes and explosive revelations.
Not surprisingly, it attracted a decent turnout.
However, it had nothing to do with You Know What. It was an information session on getting Ireland ready to join the Cern project organised by Senator Malcolm Byrne along with fellow Oireachtas nerds and TDs Marc Ó Cathasaigh and Denis Naughten.
Moya Doherty Quote of the Week
Moya Doherty Quote of the Week:
“Larry Bass was not thrown under a bus.”
The famous scion of Strokestown
Did anyone mention Bosco yet?
“I come from a place east of Strokestown called Scramoge. A great thing happened there some years ago. Ours was the town that produced Bosco, one of the greatest things RTÉ ever did. To this day the programme brings happiness to thousands of children. I know Deputy O’Sullivan talked about his close association with it but we are very proud of that in our town.”
From Roscommon’s finest, Senator Eugene Murphy, a former producer and presenter with Shannonside radio.
Milestones for Marc MacSharry
Double congratulations to Marc MacSharry.
The Independent TD for Sligo-Leitrim graduated from Ulster University earlier this week with a master of philosophy in life and health sciences and he celebrates his 50th birthday on Wednesday.
Dáil firebrand Marc did his master's degree over three years, working on weekends as a break from his political duties.
“I’m not a golfer, so this was something worthwhile for me to do on Sundays,” he told us. “And I paid my own fees.”
His thesis addressed “the political challenges in hosting a global sporting event in two separate jurisdictions in a post-conflict scenario” and his case study examined the 2007 World Rally Championship, which was run across eight counties on both sides of the Border.
The rally was based in Sligo and then Fianna Fáil senator MacSharry was involved in negotiations to bring the event to the town. People he interviewed as part of his research project included the late Max Mosley, controversial former Formula One boss; Trevor Ringland, the ex-Ireland rugby player; former Northern Ireland secretary Peter Hain; and former DUP leader Edwin Poots.
The political firebrand’s unexpected detour into the world of academia happened after a conversation with a sports professor from the university, who was so impressed by the story behind this major cross-Border undertaking he urged him to enrol in the master’s programme.
Marc’s father Ray (85), a former Fianna Fáil tánaiste, minister for finance and European commissioner, attended the ceremony in Belfast’s Waterfront Hall, proud as punch.
A gathering for absent friends
More than 150 guests gathered in the ballroom of Iveagh House last Friday to celebrate the life of Dr Robert “Bob” Mauro, one of the founders of the Kennedy Summer School in Wexford.
Bob was the executive director of the Irish Institute and Global Leadership Institute at Boston College and he was an expert in Irish and American politics, conflict resolution and global engagement.
Former taoiseach Bertie Ahern was among the speakers at the memorial hosted by the Boston College Ireland Business Council.
Dr Mauro (46) died from cancer last October a short time after attending the summer school he helped set up with his friend Noel Whelan, the political commentator and lawyer, who died in 2019 aged 50.
Bob’s wife Barbara Pyke and their two young children Dara and Tess flew in from Boston for the memorial which was also attended by Noel’s wife, recently departed senior executive with Twitter Sinéad McSweeney.
The MC for the occasion was Robert Mac Giolla Phádraig of Sigmar Recruitment; and Joe Hackett, secretary general of the Department of Foreign Affairs, welcomed the guests.
In his tribute, Bertie Ahern marvelled at how much Bob packed into his short life.
A large group travelled from Wexford, including former Fianna Fáil minister of State Seán Connick who is chief executive of the New Ross-based John F Kennedy Trust.
Who can tell if a hare is with leveret?
All sorts of weird and wonderful subjects surface during the Dáil’s late-night topical issues debates.
Jennifer Whitmore and Jennifer Carroll MacNeill had a discussion on Tuesday night about pregnant hares.
Jennifer W of the Social Democrats raised the possibility of refusing hare coursing licences for the upcoming season because she believes it is impossible to fulfil one of the conditions under which they are issued. She was pleased to see the Minister of State for Finance taking the question as she has a legal background.
“Bet you never dealt with coursing before,” smirked the Ceann Comhairle.
“No, I have not,” replied Jennifer CMN, Fine Gael TD for Dún Laoghaire and southside Dublin through and through.
Bet Seán Ó Fearghaíl never thought he would be asking about ultrasounds for hares a few minutes later.
Deputy Whitmore said coursing clubs are not allowed to capture live hares which are injured or pregnant. It says “absolutely, categorically” in section 38 (condition No 10) of the legislation.
But who can tell if a hare is with leveret?
“Female hares have a gestation period of 50 days and they can have three litters, so they are pregnant for probably half the year. It would be near impossible to determine in early pregnancy whether they are pregnant or not.”
The hare coursing association guidance says “any hare which is obviously pregnant” but the licence categorically says “pregnant”.
The junior Minister said she had a policy “of never, ever commenting on somebody, whether they look pregnant or not”. Because one never really knows.
But while not in a position to adjudicate legally, she felt Jennifer W had delivered “a really interesting analysis of the licence application and of the Act” because the licence specifies pregnant and “a person or a hare is either pregnant or not pregnant – dead or not dead, there is no ambiguity in the matter, but it raises very important questions under the licensing”.
The Ceann Comhairle suggested Deputy Whitmore might raise the matter again in the autumn after various studies have been completed.
“I don’t know if we have ultrasound for hares…” he mused.
“Pregnancy test,” said Jennifer CMN.
“…but whatever needs to be done, should be done.”
Jennifer W – ecologist, not gynaecologist – agreed.
“Apparently, you need ultrasounds.”
