Now, Taoiseach. Are you a man or a mouse?
This is what you should do.
You should go in there with your head held high and have it out with Donald Trump. Give him the ugly, unvarnished truth. Don’t hold back.
Tell it like it is. Nothing less will cut it.
We’re all behind you. We’ll be there in spirit, rooting for you.
And now, Taoiseach, here’s what you should say to Donald Trump, and in no uncertain terms ...
Deja vu of sorts in Leinster House yesterday. It was Micheál Martin’s last day in the Dáil before his much-anticipated White House meeting with Donald Trump. There has been no shortage of advice on how he should approach it. But most party leaders decided against telling him how he should deal with Donald next Wednesday.
Not so different from Enda Kenny’s last day in the Dáil before his visit to meet the newly elected Trump, except that was eight years ago.
But the situation was the same.
Trump was a matter of weeks into his first term and already causing ructions with his US travel ban, predominantly on Muslims and refugees, when the then taoiseach and Fine Gael leader pitched up in the Oval Office. It was 2017 and, in the weeks before he left, Enda was assailed by Opposition voices telling him to either snub the new president’s invitation to meet him or very firmly inform him that Ireland was taking a very dim view of his actions and he should temper his ways.
Taoiseach Kenny said that, while he would not shirk his responsibilities, he also had to be extremely mindful of the precarious plight of Irish illegals working in the US and not do anything to worsen their situation.
But make no mistake, Enda promised he would not confine himself to matters domestic. Not with the new president’s early actions and pronouncements causing great anxiety in Europe and beyond. He would not be found wanting.
“Senior hurling has gone global,” he told a somewhat mystified chamber.
What he meant was that this was an unsettling geopolitical issue and serious words were needed, so he would have to play some “senior hurling” with Trump in Washington.
“I intend to visit him in the Oval Office in the White House and say my piece,” pledged Enda. “Face to face.”
In the end, there was no clash of the ash on Pennsylvania Avenue when he called, but he made a very powerful speech later at the Speakers' lunch advocating for the rights of migrants and, in particular, the illegal Irish in the US.
[ Donald Trump describes Enda Kenny as his ‘new friend’Opens in new window ]
He was hailed for making a very brave intervention, but he did it while pouring buckets of plámás over his vain host.
“That’s my new friend; he’s my new friend. Great guy,” purred Trump at the time. “And, Fionnuala, you know, you are something very special,” he said to Enda’s wife. “We sat, we talked, and I think we’re friends now too, right? And it’s really an honour. Thank you. Thank you. Thanks, Fionnuala. Appreciate it.”
All in all, the visit was viewed as a success. And the invitation to visit Ireland was duly extended and taken up in due course, mainly on the golf course.
Well done, Enda.
Maybe Micheál should give him a tinkle and ask for a few pointers about turning on the Cork charm, like.
But that earlier encounter was before Trump and his people went full-scale doolally, to use a diplomatic term. Fast forward to this week and the man-baby-in-chief is starting into a second term. The mood now is every bit as bad as it was the first time and then some.
It’s positively scary.
[ Opposition wants Taoiseach to raise Ukraine and Gaza with TrumpOpens in new window ]
The disturbing schoolboy bullying of Ukraine’s president Volodymyr Zelenskiy in the Oval Office last week is still fresh in horrified minds. With Trump on the warpath against the EU and his protectionist views on Ireland’s large trade surplus with the US, Taoiseach Micheál Martin has a tricky assignment ahead of him in DC next week.
If one of the reasons Trump was re-elected was the cost of living and the price of eggs, Micheál will find himself walking on dozens of them in the White House and on Capitol Hill.
During Leaders’ Questions on Wednesday, Sinn Féin leader Mary Lou McDonald asked him to “set out much more clearly what exactly you will say on Ukraine and, in particular, on Gaza and the Palestinian question”.
Then there are the economic issues. Mary Lou was “certain” the Taoiseach would “impress upon president Trump” the importance of continued US support for the Irish peace process, the need for a solution to the illegal Irish situation and our concerns about the impact of tariffs on our economy. For Mary Lou, this was kid glove stuff.
But the Taoiseach was never going to reveal his game plan in the Dáil. Certainly not now when there are rumours of a Russian spy roaming Leinster House, who might blab it to comrade Putin who would then rush to share with his new VBF and unsuspecting stooge in the White House.
“We are pro-free trade and I will articulate that perspective. We will also articulate our views regarding Ukraine and the Middle East,” said Micheál, diplomatically. “In terms of the core issues, the economic relationship is very important. We are an open small economy.”
Open small economy. He’ll be saying that a lot in the coming week.
The Opposition allowed him to go quietly – first to his meeting with UK prime minister Keir Starmer in Liverpool and then on to an EU meeting. Keir will, no doubt, give him a few pointers on handling Trump after he pulled out all the stops – and an invite to dine with the King – in a full-on flattery offensive.
But all the Opposition could really do on Wednesday was run out to the plinth and cheer on Micheál as he left on his mission into the unspeakable unknown. (The praying happened earlier in the Ceann Comhairle’s Private Dining Room when the annual Ash Wednesday Mass was celebrated.)
Disappointingly, his fellow TDs didn’t cheer him off like wives and sweethearts waving off their boys during the first World War.
Waving their Order Papers on the plinth and singing:
“Goodbye-ee, Don’t cry-ee,
There’s a silver lining in the sky-ee.
Bonsoir old thing, cheerio, chin-chin
Nah-poo, toodle-oo, goodbye-ee!”
Good luck, Micheál.
