Cricket: Nothing is more designed to make an Australian fast bowler's blood boil than Kevin Pietersen's egotistical belief that he can charge down the wicket and dispatch them to all parts from several yards outside his crease. Yesterday at the MCG Glenn McGrath exacted a terrible revenge on behalf of Australian manhood as he smashed Pietersen's ribs, put him out of the one-day series and left England's World Cup preparations in disarray.
As Pietersen doubled up in pain, his on-the-charge pull shot thoroughly defeated, and a bottom rib fractured, Australia showed no sympathy. The response was delight that his outlandish tactic had finally been defeated and, not only that, that it had been exposed by McGrath, whose speed in his final season before retirement has slipped to around 80 miles per hour. McGrath will feel years younger every time he reflects upon it.
Ricky Ponting, Australia's captain, was more magnanimous after the match, as he had every reason to be with an eight-wicket win in the bank and England's most dangerous player summarily dealt with. "We thought it was just a knock in the ribs that had winded him," he said. "It wasn't a knock on the head or anything like that. A couple of our guys asked him how he was as they walked past but he was so badly winded that he couldn't talk.
"When you walk down the wicket to a fast bowler I suppose you are asking to be bounced, but he has hit them all summer. He is an entertaining player, but I think England will be more disappointed than us that he is going home."
England will name their replacement for Pietersen today, but none of the supposed contenders is in the same bracket. If there was another flamboyant strokemaker, he would already be in the squad. It narrows down to youthful caution (Alastair Cook), experienced caution (Owais Shah), more inventive uncapped players such as Ravi Bopara (young) or Mal Loye (old), a recall for Anthony McGrath, whose rows with Yorkshire should at least have sharpened him up a bit, or even a desperate call for Mark Ramprakash.
Pietersen had been England's saviour against a solid Australian pace quartet, manoeuvring the ball judiciously. He was 73 when McGrath struck him and continued after treatment to reach 82 from 91 balls. He was caught at long-on six overs from the end of England's innings off Stuart Clark, Andrew Symonds pouching a steepling catch. That he even attempted the shot with a cracked rib was impressive.
Australia's comfortable victory also owed much to disrespectful batsmanship - a barnstorming 60 in 61 balls from Adam Gilchrist at the top of the order. A Gilchrist new-ball assault can drain all logic from a game. England's 242 for eight was respectable, but it was made to look inadequate as Gilchrist gave Australia an advantage that Ponting and Michael Clarke clinically concluded.
Pietersen dismissed suggestions he would now abandon his charging tactic as too dangerous. "I don't think it will stop me doing this in the future," he said. "I don't see it as a hazard. And I don't think the injury will concern me for the World Cup.
"It is not how I planned it," he said. "I planned to give it a real good go in the one-day series and draw a line under the Ashes, to try to assist all of us to take home some victories.
"I have been hit quite a few times in the ribs and have had a bit of ice, and a bit of this and a bit of that, but this time when I was hit I couldn't breathe for a few minutes so I knew that it was serious. It restricted my breathing and it restricted my strokeplay. I am a quick healer and I will just have to bide my time."
Guardian Service