SOCCER/English FA Premiership: If being Wayne Rooney proves periodically tricky, managing him must sometimes feel akin to getting trapped in a lift and desperately pressing every available button in the hope of triggering an escape.
Does Manchester United manager Alex Ferguson subject the prodigy to private hairdryer treatment in the wake of his ill-advised shove on Bolton's Tal Ben Haim on Sunday or might he sympathise with Rooney before patiently explaining why today's all-seeing television cameras make self-control paramount?
Should he fine his teenage multi-millionaire or would blaming Rooney's loss of control on Ben Haim's provocation before using the incident as a cautionary tale illustrating that the whole world really is against Manchester United work better?
Dilemmas, dilemmas . . .
Motivated by the desire to ensure Rooney's willingness to jump through metaphorical hoops of fire for him, Ferguson must retain the England international's respect, ensuring he does not alienate a forward capable of either enhancing or eroding his own job security.
At least after years of coping with people such as Eric Cantona and Roy Keane, Ferguson is thoroughly versed in handling the complex relationship between exceptional talent and self-destruction.
"Sir Alex will see this as a little hiccup," said Peter Taylor, manager of the England under-21s and Hull City. "No one is better equipped to handle it. He'll talk to Wayne and make sure he understands that cameras are following his every move.
"The Ben Haim episode is about inexperience. You see lots of 19-year-olds get away with similar things which their managers deal with privately. Wayne is having to do his growing up in public but he's in the best place."
Yet in the wake of Rooney's substitution during England's recent friendly in Spain - a change made a mere minute before half-time but necessitated by growing fears that his petulance would prompt a red card - it appears a boy once likened to Pele by Sven-Goran Eriksson is a slow learner.
"It's about drawing the line between maintaining his edge and ensuring he keeps his discipline," acknowledged Taylor. "I'm sure he'll get the balance right."
It might help if Bill Beswick was still United's psychologist. Now filling that role at Steve McClaren's Middlesbrough, Beswick was brought to Old Trafford by McClaren who, in his time as Ferguson's assistant, persuaded the Scot a sports psychologist would improve on-field discipline, thereby minimising suspensions.
A behavioural psychologist, Beswick describes himself as "a stretch rather than a shrink". He is essentially an educator who, by persuading players to rationalise events, encourages them to develop so much motivation that self-discipline becomes second nature.
"I belong to that branch of behavioural psychology that says, if you get the right attitude and emotional self-control, you improve performance," said Beswick. "Football is played in a very emotional, passionate environment but players need to remain focused, controlled and tough."
Helpfully, Beswick - who at Middlesbrough ensures first-teamers are deliberately "wound-up" during role-play training exercises to induce Saturday afternoon restraint - has written a book Focused For Soccer encapsulating his aims.
Ferguson could do worse than give Rooney a copy as a belated Christmas present.
A more avant-garde alternative would be for United's manager to hire Rooney a personal neurolinguistic programmer. NLP practioners place their clients in a semi-trance before persuading them to analyse events in their past when they made negative decisions that inhibited future success.
Often, though, managers prefer to leave flawed talent well alone, turning a blind eye to footballer failings in the fear that confronting weakness might prove detrimental to short- and medium-term results. This syndrome perhaps explains why George Graham overlooked Tony Adams's drinking and Ferguson indulged Cantona in the aftermath of his infamous kung fu kick at Crystal Palace.
Tellingly Ferguson has regularly treated Keane with extraordinary leniency, even refraining from disciplining him when, four days before the 1999 FA Cup final, he was forced to extricate the midfielder from a police cell after a drink-related "incident".
Perhaps significantly Keane's first 10 years at United yielded 10 red cards, whereas he was never sent off during three years with Brian Clough's Nottingham Forest.
Rooney must wait to discover if the FA will retrospectively deem his push on Ben Haim a suspension-inducing offence but he could do worse than order a replica of Julian Dicks's favourite T-shirt. He might identify with that one-time scourge of authority who, although now retired, has been spotted with the words "Hello, My Name Is Satan" emblazoned across his chest.
Ben Haim's exaggerated reaction won him few favours and Bolton manager Sam Allardyce agreed his player had made the most of it. Ben Haim yesterday told the Jerusalem Post: "It's been a sad day overall.
"With what happened in Asia (the earthquake and tidal waves), the fact we didn't win or take any points from the game and even the incident overshadowed my performance." On the incident, Ben Haim said: "My manager spoke about it and that is all I'm willing to say." He added: "We now host our local derby against Blackburn and hope to get some points again."