I don’t know how the Bryan Sheehan rumour started but I very much enjoyed watching it go around. He won’t be doing goals for Kerry on Sunday but didn’t it pass the time for a few weeks all the same? I heard it was the talk of Rio until the bit of business with the tickets happened.

Rumours get around like lightning, especially in Kerry. There’s a man who runs Larkin’s pub in Milltown called Mike McCarthy – rumours go into that pub as boys and come out as men.

Years ago, there was one going around that Barry O’Shea had fallen out with Páidí. I decided to go in and have a bit of fun with it.

“Well Mike,” I said.

"Darragh boy, tell me this. Is it true about Páidí and Barry O'Shea?"

I gave it the whole looking over the shoulder bit and lowered my voice and said: “It is, between myself and yourself. Barry had a puck at him in the shower at training last night.”

“You’re joking me.”

“Don’t say a word now, Mike.”

“I won’t. I won’t say a word.”

I knew by the way he was looking, the poor man’s head was nearly vibrating. He had to walk away from me before he exploded. I’d bet my life that I hadn’t the key turned in the car outside before he spilled the beans.

Two days later, he rang me.

“That never happened, you hoor.”.

“You didn’t tell anyone, did you?”

“F**k you.”

No, Sheehan won’t be doing goals. I know he played there as a minor but that was the guts of 15 years ago. There’s thinking outside the box and then there’s just being daft. The way I’d look at it is that it’s a great idea until he leaves in the first goal. Then what? Other than that, how did you enjoy Dallas, Mrs Kennedy?

All the same, I’m not a bit surprised that something like that went around. Because the reality of the situation is that Kerry are reaching desperation point now with Dublin. They have our number. They’ve beaten us in 2011, 2013 and 2015. They gave us a hosing in the league final in April. Not alone are they beating us but they’re enjoying beating us, just as we used enjoy beating them. Something has to change.

Sheer nerves

I met

Eamonn Fitzmaurice

for coffee recently. He was talking about the Kerry players and how focused they are and how much he liked the way they take everything in their stride.

“Remember how we used to be?” he said. “We’d get tea and sandwiches before a game and we’d eat way more sandwiches than we were supposed to out of sheer nerves? Halfway through a game we’d nearly be throwing up because we ate too many.

“It’s a different story these days. They do things the right way now. They’re way more calm before games. They save their energy for the pitch.”

Maybe it’s just the old dinosaur in me but I heard that and I was thinking I’d rather see some of them stuffing their face out of pure nerves. Give me a nervous footballer anytime. Give me someone who can’t stand the thought of ending the day a loser. Give me a guy who is so caught up in the game that he doesn’t know or care what he ate or when he ate it.

Kerry have lots to be nervous about here. I look at them this week and I see a team that has been playing second fiddle to Dublin for five years. That can’t be allowed to continue. If you think tradition doesn’t count, you haven’t been to Kerry. Dublin are better than us at the minute and it hurts.

I really hope it hurts this group of Kerry players. I wrote earlier in the summer about how Cork have nearly become immune to the shame of losing. It would be terrible if something similar happened to Kerry when it comes to Dublin. Losing to them can’t be allowed to become just any old defeat. It has to hurt more than all the others.

That leaves the stakes very high for these Kerry players. There was a fear for a while when Fitzy took over that we were heading into a famine but two things have happened. First, he won an All-Ireland in his second year, which nobody saw coming. Second, a couple of good minor teams won All-Irelands back-to-back. So in all likelihood, there won’t be any great famine.

But it has left this group of Kerry players looking over their shoulders. They know their replacements are coming up behind them and it won’t be long before they’re under serious pressure for their place in the squad.

And now, the big danger for them is that they’ll be remembered as the Kerry team who couldn’t beat Dublin.

Motivation is a strange thing in sport. It’s completely unique to each individual. Some guys need the carrot, some guys need the stick. Fitzy’s job this week is to know his patients. Who needs winding up to the hilt? Who needs to be shown the love?

Direct attack

Mostly, I needed the stick. Showing me the love never really worked because I’d be too cynical about that kind of thing. I needed to have a big cranky head on me. Don’t be telling me I’m great – I know what you really think of me.

Páidí had a right go before the drawn Dublin game in Thurles in 2001. He didn't mention me by name but he had us in a huddle and gave this big speech about how some fellas in the Munster final were outside the tent looking. He looked me right in the eye when he said it. Whether he meant me or not, I took it as a direct attack.

I went home that night in a rage. Who was he to single me out like that? Doesn't he of all people know the amount I'm putting into this? I was bulling when we played Dublin. And I was bulling after it because, even though I had played well, there was no word of well done out of Páidí. He told Mike Frank [Russell] he had played well – Mike Frank hadn't half the game I had! But Mike Frank got the carrot. I got the stick.

We were driving home that night and a Garda pulled Páidí over for speeding. It was a definite ticket, no question or doubt about it. But he was able to put chat on the Garda and plamás him around and he got away with it.

“Thanks Garda,” he said. “That’s the second tight spot we got out of today – the Dubs nearly beat us in Thurles.”

I was sitting in the back thinking, “It’s the third one you got out of, you f**ker – I was about to punch the head off you earlier”

Every team has its match winners. I watched Aidan O'Shea in Croke Park on Sunday and it was about as impressed as I've ever been with him. He was outstanding. He horsed through endless loads of work and just kept taking responsibility for his team. They've found a great role for him. Nothing glamorous, just sheer hard work and physicality in winning ball and moving it on. He's having the best summer of his career as a result.

Tough job

What has been the motivation there? Is Aidan a carrot man or is he a stick man? I’m only looking in from the outside but I would guess that there have been times when Aidan has got a bit too much love in the

Mayo

set-up. Maybe he has been indulged a bit too much. Maybe by giving him a tough job, one where he’s going to take heaps and heaps of punishment, Mayo have hit on what gets the best out of him.

What’s going to get the best out of the Kerry players on Sunday? In a way, it was easier for us when we were playing Dublin because we had medals and Dublin didn’t. We always beat Dublin because we always beat Dublin. And under no circumstances were we going to be the ones who lost to them. That duck is broken now and the shoe is on the other foot.

But your motivation has to be the same. it still has to be unacceptable to lose to them. So you have to go in nervous. You have to go in thinking these bastards are taking away my life here. What am I going to do? I'm going to cut loose and cause wreck. How much energy do I need? Watch me go. Give me Paul Flynn to mark, give me Diarmuid Connolly, give me Michael Darragh Macauley. I want it. I want that job because this ends now.

All that said and done, I think Kerry will win. I know I always go for Kerry in these matches and maybe that’s just me being a fine, thick Kerryman. I accept that as an argument.

But I’m looking at Kerry and I’m looking at Fitzy and I refuse to believe that these guys are going to let Dublin be the thing that hangs over them. This is a game for the ages for them. They can’t be remembered as the team that kept getting knocked on their ass by the Dubs.

Exceptional team

I see why Dublin are favourites. They’re an exceptional team with a brilliant manager and players who have no reason to be afraid whatsoever of Kerry. Most of them don’t know what it’s like to be beaten by us so they have no reason to think they won’t just keep winning. They should be coming in thinking Dublin always beat Kerry because Dublin always beat Kerry.

But I just don’t accept that there’s as big a distance between the teams as people think. Kerry’s motivation – maybe even their desperation – should make the gap even smaller. The gap should always be small between Dublin and Kerry anyway.

Kerry are 11/4 for the game, 4/1 for the All-Ireland. I’ll be backing both.